Warning: This review may spoil the movie if you haven't seen it yet.
I really enjoyed Jarhead but was a little misinformed before I saw it. From the previews I had expected that there would be some action scenes. There weren't any. Other than some shelling in one scene towards the end of the movie the only bullets flying were during training and into the air in celebration.
That said, there were many other aspects of this movie that held my interest and made it well worth watching. I particularly liked the interactions of the soldiers with each other and watching the bonds form between them. I kept waiting for the final battle that would cement their relationships knowing that once they had been through it and shed some blood, they would be brothers for life. That moment never comes.
The movie theater was virtually silent as the credits rolled which was the complete opposite of the buzz and anticipation that was there before the movie started. While a bit sobered about what the war was really like for the marines, at least I didn't feel sick after watching it the way I did with Traffic or Lord of War.
For those of you with easily offended sensibilities: The intent of the movie was to portray what it was like for the men on the ground in Kuwait. It shows what soldiers do to pass the time when there are no women around and death could come at any moment. While tamed down a bit for us civilians, it will offend anyone who is uncomfortable with swearing, sexual innuendo and explicit sexual content. If that's you, then Jarhead is not a movie you should watch.
Ironically, I found the graphic content of the movie a bit refreshing. I have become accustomed to the news and the daily footage of the war in Iraq and lately have given it very little thought. This movie brought back the reality that our men and women face on a daily basis and renewed my appreciation for their efforts and sacrifice.
Personally, I don't know too many people who I would recomend seeing Jarhead. After having slept on it for a night and taking a few hours to think about it, I am glad I took the time to watch it but its not a movie I will be adding to my collection.
Rating: 7/10
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
The Reality of Abuse, A Followup
This is a followup on my previous post. I appologized to the person I harmed and asked their forgiveness. They were surprised, not that I was appologizing, but that I felt so badly for something that they didn't view as abusive or anything other than normal behavior. I was glad that they felt that way but I wasn't ready to let it go that easily. In fact, I'm still quite bothered about my actions and how far I had gone down that slippery slope.
Since then I have had a fair bit of time to reflect on everything around this. One thing I remembered was what Viktor Frankl learned while he was a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp: "Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose."
In other words, when I am being driven crazy or am feeling close to the edge, its not wrong to be feeling that way. Where right and wrong get involved are in how I choose to respond to the circumstances that have caused those feelings. If I go over the edge and lash out, its because thats what I chose to do. A better choice is to remove myself from the situation long enough to back away from the edge. Then I can come back and deal with it appropriately.
There are two things at work here. The first is being aware of myself and how I'm feeling. Its paying attention to the people and circumstances around me and asking myself, "how does that make me feel?" The second is taking accountability for my actions. Regardless of what is going on around me, nobody is making me do anything. By combining self awareness and accountability together, I can no longer blame someone else for my actions. I know how I am feeling and I know that I'm close to the edge. I can choose to go over, or I can choose to back down or remove myself. With self awarness and accountability, the freedom to choose my response becomes a reality.
I'm not trivializing this or thinking that's its going to be an easy process. In fact, I know its quite the opposite. Learning how to manage myself is an ongoing process that will likely take me the rest of my life. I'm sure there will be times when I look back and realize too late that once again I have harmed someone. The key will be to have a positive balance in their emotional bank account, not so that I can get away with it, but so that they will be willing to forgive me when I ask.
Since then I have had a fair bit of time to reflect on everything around this. One thing I remembered was what Viktor Frankl learned while he was a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp: "Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose."
In other words, when I am being driven crazy or am feeling close to the edge, its not wrong to be feeling that way. Where right and wrong get involved are in how I choose to respond to the circumstances that have caused those feelings. If I go over the edge and lash out, its because thats what I chose to do. A better choice is to remove myself from the situation long enough to back away from the edge. Then I can come back and deal with it appropriately.
There are two things at work here. The first is being aware of myself and how I'm feeling. Its paying attention to the people and circumstances around me and asking myself, "how does that make me feel?" The second is taking accountability for my actions. Regardless of what is going on around me, nobody is making me do anything. By combining self awareness and accountability together, I can no longer blame someone else for my actions. I know how I am feeling and I know that I'm close to the edge. I can choose to go over, or I can choose to back down or remove myself. With self awarness and accountability, the freedom to choose my response becomes a reality.
I'm not trivializing this or thinking that's its going to be an easy process. In fact, I know its quite the opposite. Learning how to manage myself is an ongoing process that will likely take me the rest of my life. I'm sure there will be times when I look back and realize too late that once again I have harmed someone. The key will be to have a positive balance in their emotional bank account, not so that I can get away with it, but so that they will be willing to forgive me when I ask.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
The Reality of Abuse
Over the past month or so my wife and I have been attending classes that are required training for foster parenting. When we first started the classes I was a little bitter about having to give up so much of my time in order to attend. After all, I am a busy person and it should be enough that I'm opening my home to these children. I don't need to sit in hours upon hours of government required training to do this.
The first class was a meet the instructor combined with a course overview. There was no uncomfortable role playing or sharing of deep dark secrets, just introductions to the rest of the class and some information about why the training is required and what we can expect to learn. At one point we went around the room and each of us introduced the person next to us (having previously given a few minutes to find out what was interesting about them). I'm normally pretty introverted when amongst strangers and this time was no different. I ended up having to go first but that just meant I didn't have to mull over what I was going to say while waiting for my turn.
As we went around the room we found that most of the people had been fostering for a few months to a few years. (This makes sense since we are required to complete all the training with in the first two years of our contract.) All except one older gentleman by the name of Mike. Mike had been fostering for about 20 years and had just accepted the 149th child into his home.
I don't think I was the only one who had to pick my jaw up off the floor. One Hundred and Forty Nine Children. Of course, my first thought was, if you've had so many kids... why do you have to take this class? After we got over the initial shock, we listened to his story as he elaborated on his experience as a foster parent. Once he was done the instructor pointed out that having Mike in the class was going to be great. No kidding!
Anyway, today we got three hours past the halfway mark which is a nice feeling. Its not exactly down hill from here, but its good to know that we're making steady progress. A lot of the material we have had to cover has been heart breaking but today was the hardest. Today was about The Causes and Effects of Abuse and Neglect.
I knew that becoming a foster parent meant that we would encounter children who had suffered abuse at the hands of adults or older siblings but today my eyes were opened a lot more to the reality thats out there. There... look at that! I just wrote "out there" when the reality is that its right here. As we covered what abusive behaviors looked like I was shocked as I realized that I am guilty of abusive behaviors right within my own home!
The seriousness of that hit me like a ton of bricks. I am someone who has chosen to give of my time, energy and money to care for children who have been removed from their homes and yet I have exhibited some of the abusive behaviors that lead to children being removed in the first place! How could I possibly view myself as a safe caregiver?
As the class continued and I thought about it some more, I realized a few things. First, the potential to abuse is within all of us. The example of this comes is one of the most horrific forms of abuse imaginable and yet anyone who has had children will know exactly what it is: Shaken Baby Syndrome. Shaking occurs frequently when a frustrated caregiver loses control with an inconsolable crying baby. Even the most loving and caring fathers and mothers have breaking points. If they haven't accepted that its okay for their child to cry once all their needs have been met, they will be driven to that flashpoint and without a plan and support system in place they can go over the edge and seriously harm their child.
The next realization that I had about myself and my abusive behaviors is that many forms of abuse are not perpetrated consciously or intentionally but are the result of inadequate coping skills and mechanisms. If we look again at SBS the key to preventing it is education and preparation. If a caregiver does not know about SBS or that allowing their baby to cry is okay, how will they know what to do when it happens? When caregivers are educated about SBS they are taught that when they feel themselves getting close to the breaking point, they need to ensure the baby's safety and then walk away or call for help. By learning in advance what can happen and what to do, they have the opportunity to make arrangements to have trusted family members, friends or even neighbors care for thier child when they need a break. Simply put, education gives them the tools and mechanisms to cope and consequently prevents abuse.
As I sat through the remainder of the class I paid close attention to everything that was said, searching for the piece of information that would justify my past actions. That bit that I could hang onto and say, "See, I'm not like them." At first I thought that maybe since I didn't know I was being abusive maybe it "didn't count". But then I thought, what if the parent of a foster child said the same thing... Would I accept that? Not a chance! My next thought was that maybe it happened long enough ago that it would be forgotten and I that could pretend it never happened. As the class progressed and we talked more about the long term effects of abuse the guilt overwhelmed me and I realized that I couldn't live with myself if I just pretended it never happened.
By the end of the class today, I had realized one last thing. Abuse is always wrong and can never be undone. There is no way I can justify my past actions.
I don't think any parent starts out intending to hurt their child. Abuse happens when they... sorry... when I am unable to cope and fail to remove myself from the situation before I lose control. I have work to do in order to learn that and apply it within my life but I think that is the key. Through this foster parenting course, that I didn't want to take, I have learned about the potential I have to do harm. I have also learned about the potential I have to do good.
I now have before me two choices: I can delete this entire blog entry and hope no one ever discovers the miserable coward I am inside, OR, I can go to the person I harmed, acknowledge my actions, ask their forgiveness and then begin earning their trust and respect.
The first class was a meet the instructor combined with a course overview. There was no uncomfortable role playing or sharing of deep dark secrets, just introductions to the rest of the class and some information about why the training is required and what we can expect to learn. At one point we went around the room and each of us introduced the person next to us (having previously given a few minutes to find out what was interesting about them). I'm normally pretty introverted when amongst strangers and this time was no different. I ended up having to go first but that just meant I didn't have to mull over what I was going to say while waiting for my turn.
As we went around the room we found that most of the people had been fostering for a few months to a few years. (This makes sense since we are required to complete all the training with in the first two years of our contract.) All except one older gentleman by the name of Mike. Mike had been fostering for about 20 years and had just accepted the 149th child into his home.
I don't think I was the only one who had to pick my jaw up off the floor. One Hundred and Forty Nine Children. Of course, my first thought was, if you've had so many kids... why do you have to take this class? After we got over the initial shock, we listened to his story as he elaborated on his experience as a foster parent. Once he was done the instructor pointed out that having Mike in the class was going to be great. No kidding!
Anyway, today we got three hours past the halfway mark which is a nice feeling. Its not exactly down hill from here, but its good to know that we're making steady progress. A lot of the material we have had to cover has been heart breaking but today was the hardest. Today was about The Causes and Effects of Abuse and Neglect.
I knew that becoming a foster parent meant that we would encounter children who had suffered abuse at the hands of adults or older siblings but today my eyes were opened a lot more to the reality thats out there. There... look at that! I just wrote "out there" when the reality is that its right here. As we covered what abusive behaviors looked like I was shocked as I realized that I am guilty of abusive behaviors right within my own home!
The seriousness of that hit me like a ton of bricks. I am someone who has chosen to give of my time, energy and money to care for children who have been removed from their homes and yet I have exhibited some of the abusive behaviors that lead to children being removed in the first place! How could I possibly view myself as a safe caregiver?
As the class continued and I thought about it some more, I realized a few things. First, the potential to abuse is within all of us. The example of this comes is one of the most horrific forms of abuse imaginable and yet anyone who has had children will know exactly what it is: Shaken Baby Syndrome. Shaking occurs frequently when a frustrated caregiver loses control with an inconsolable crying baby. Even the most loving and caring fathers and mothers have breaking points. If they haven't accepted that its okay for their child to cry once all their needs have been met, they will be driven to that flashpoint and without a plan and support system in place they can go over the edge and seriously harm their child.
The next realization that I had about myself and my abusive behaviors is that many forms of abuse are not perpetrated consciously or intentionally but are the result of inadequate coping skills and mechanisms. If we look again at SBS the key to preventing it is education and preparation. If a caregiver does not know about SBS or that allowing their baby to cry is okay, how will they know what to do when it happens? When caregivers are educated about SBS they are taught that when they feel themselves getting close to the breaking point, they need to ensure the baby's safety and then walk away or call for help. By learning in advance what can happen and what to do, they have the opportunity to make arrangements to have trusted family members, friends or even neighbors care for thier child when they need a break. Simply put, education gives them the tools and mechanisms to cope and consequently prevents abuse.
As I sat through the remainder of the class I paid close attention to everything that was said, searching for the piece of information that would justify my past actions. That bit that I could hang onto and say, "See, I'm not like them." At first I thought that maybe since I didn't know I was being abusive maybe it "didn't count". But then I thought, what if the parent of a foster child said the same thing... Would I accept that? Not a chance! My next thought was that maybe it happened long enough ago that it would be forgotten and I that could pretend it never happened. As the class progressed and we talked more about the long term effects of abuse the guilt overwhelmed me and I realized that I couldn't live with myself if I just pretended it never happened.
By the end of the class today, I had realized one last thing. Abuse is always wrong and can never be undone. There is no way I can justify my past actions.
I don't think any parent starts out intending to hurt their child. Abuse happens when they... sorry... when I am unable to cope and fail to remove myself from the situation before I lose control. I have work to do in order to learn that and apply it within my life but I think that is the key. Through this foster parenting course, that I didn't want to take, I have learned about the potential I have to do harm. I have also learned about the potential I have to do good.
I now have before me two choices: I can delete this entire blog entry and hope no one ever discovers the miserable coward I am inside, OR, I can go to the person I harmed, acknowledge my actions, ask their forgiveness and then begin earning their trust and respect.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
A Couple Cool Floaties
So, when I originally started this blog, it was my intention to point out the cool places on the net that I stumble across. I haven't actually done this yet but in the last few days of trying not to work, I've come across a couple sites that I just had to share.
This first site took me back all the way to my elementary school years when part of the science grade was based on participation in a science fair. One year my exhibit was based on optical illusions. If I recall correctly, I placed in the top three that year. Anyway, Michael Bach has created a site containing 59 optical illusions ranging from simple to complex. Several of them are the same illusions I used for my science fair project. It brought back a lot of cool memories, but even cooler, now I actually understand the explanations! If you're into playing tricks on your eyes, then definitely check it out: http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/
In my Getting to Know Me post I listed five things I want to do before I die. Ironically I had a tough time at first coming up with five things, so I put a couple of dumb ones in there just so I could move on. (Normally I'm not that sequential, but when things are numbered, my OC side takes over and I can't help myself.) Then a few days later I stumbled 43 Things. In a nutshell, its a To Do list for your life. The cool thing is that your list is shared with every other user on the site allowing you to hook up with other people who want to do the same things as you. If you haven't given much thought to your life goals lately, take a few minutes now and head over there. I guarantee you that a few minutes there will do you a lot more good than reading my blog ever will. Take a look: http://www.43things.com/
And one final note. Today is my 31st birthday. I always had a goal of becoming a game programmer by the time I was 30. Well, now that I'm 31 I have to admit that I didn't achieve that particular goal. On the other hand, I'm at a very good place in my life with a lot of things going right and the rest is steadily getting better. So, happy birthday to me!
This first site took me back all the way to my elementary school years when part of the science grade was based on participation in a science fair. One year my exhibit was based on optical illusions. If I recall correctly, I placed in the top three that year. Anyway, Michael Bach has created a site containing 59 optical illusions ranging from simple to complex. Several of them are the same illusions I used for my science fair project. It brought back a lot of cool memories, but even cooler, now I actually understand the explanations! If you're into playing tricks on your eyes, then definitely check it out: http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/
In my Getting to Know Me post I listed five things I want to do before I die. Ironically I had a tough time at first coming up with five things, so I put a couple of dumb ones in there just so I could move on. (Normally I'm not that sequential, but when things are numbered, my OC side takes over and I can't help myself.) Then a few days later I stumbled 43 Things. In a nutshell, its a To Do list for your life. The cool thing is that your list is shared with every other user on the site allowing you to hook up with other people who want to do the same things as you. If you haven't given much thought to your life goals lately, take a few minutes now and head over there. I guarantee you that a few minutes there will do you a lot more good than reading my blog ever will. Take a look: http://www.43things.com/
And one final note. Today is my 31st birthday. I always had a goal of becoming a game programmer by the time I was 30. Well, now that I'm 31 I have to admit that I didn't achieve that particular goal. On the other hand, I'm at a very good place in my life with a lot of things going right and the rest is steadily getting better. So, happy birthday to me!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Getting to Know Me
My brother over at Stuff About the Small Stuff put me up to this... Normally I just bin these things but since I've never seen it done on a blog before (I don't read any that aren't linked from this page unless they're related to programming. :p )
So, like the clone you know I am, here goes...
Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Build a free standing recording studio with my two brothers. (And not just a converted garage either!)
2. Contribute substantial amounts of code to an Open Source project.
3. Take my wife somewhere outside of North America. Like New Zealand or Australia.
4. Get Paid to Play my Bass.
5. Hook my brain to a computer so I can surf the internet while I sleep!
Things I Can Do
1. Write complex, multi-threaded software that runs in parallel across multiple servers.
2. Play bass with heart, soul, rhythm and a little bit of finesse.
3. Love my wife until I die.
4. Watch all six episodes of Star Wars back to back.
5. Mow the grass. (Just becaues I can doesn't mean I will!)
Things I Cannot Do
1. Shave every day.
2. Sleep through the incessant yapping of our neighbor's dog.
3. Play DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball (Not because I don't want to. ;)
4. Write poetry.
5. Eat seafood.
Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex (In no particular order!!!)
1. Boobs. (Hey! I'm being honest!)
2. Red Hair (Brunette is good too)
3. Character, Integrity, Morals.
4. Great sense of humor
5. Intelligence
Celebrity Crushes (I know these are going to get me into trouble!)
1. Rachael Leigh Cook
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Whoopi Goldberg
4. Rhona Mitra
5. Julia Ormond
People I Want To Do This Next
1. Lee
2. Braden
3. Lance
4. Jeremy
5. Charmaine
So, like the clone you know I am, here goes...
Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Build a free standing recording studio with my two brothers. (And not just a converted garage either!)
2. Contribute substantial amounts of code to an Open Source project.
3. Take my wife somewhere outside of North America. Like New Zealand or Australia.
4. Get Paid to Play my Bass.
5. Hook my brain to a computer so I can surf the internet while I sleep!
Things I Can Do
1. Write complex, multi-threaded software that runs in parallel across multiple servers.
2. Play bass with heart, soul, rhythm and a little bit of finesse.
3. Love my wife until I die.
4. Watch all six episodes of Star Wars back to back.
5. Mow the grass. (Just becaues I can doesn't mean I will!)
Things I Cannot Do
1. Shave every day.
2. Sleep through the incessant yapping of our neighbor's dog.
3. Play DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball (Not because I don't want to. ;)
4. Write poetry.
5. Eat seafood.
Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex (In no particular order!!!)
1. Boobs. (Hey! I'm being honest!)
2. Red Hair (Brunette is good too)
3. Character, Integrity, Morals.
4. Great sense of humor
5. Intelligence
Celebrity Crushes (I know these are going to get me into trouble!)
1. Rachael Leigh Cook
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Whoopi Goldberg
4. Rhona Mitra
5. Julia Ormond
People I Want To Do This Next
1. Lee
2. Braden
3. Lance
4. Jeremy
5. Charmaine
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Crawling in my Living Room
Anybody know what this is? My wife was pretty freaked out by it. I killed it, but then I was creeped out so she had to clean it up. We make a great team that way.NOTE (2005-10-07): On my 17" monitor, that picture is slightly larger than actual size. Only slightly.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
The Business of Life
The frequency of my blogging has slowed dramatically over the past few months, not that I was ever all that frequent before, its just a lot worse now. There are many reasons, and not a few excuses, but the reality is that I'm much busier than before and simply haven't made writing a priority. The sad thing is that I get a lot more enjoyment out of writing than I do from many of the other things that occupy my time.
Today I decided that it was time to write again. So I sat down and wrote some software. Wait! Don't glaze over! The sofatware was nothing special, just some minor enhancements for an online photo album. The thing is that writing software is a good outlet for me. I get to exercise my creativity and problem solving skills while apply them to projects that I find interesting and challenging. I think its that last bit that makes it rewarding and refreshing.
Think about your week. When was the last time you sat down and did something you wanted to for a few hours? Did you enjoy yourself? Was it rewarding? If you answered yes to either of those, then for most people, chances are you weren't doing anything related to your normal job.
That's where the business of life comes in. We all need to survive. That means meeting our basic needs for food, shelter and clothing and then looking to our safety and security. Unfortunately thats where it ends for far too many people. They get so caught up with just making ends meet that they miss out on the rest of life's offerings.
The real trick is to find work that generates enough income to meet your needs but doesn't leave you too drained at the end of the day to enjoy the few hours you have left over after you factor in personal care, transportation, eating and sleeping. Of course, if you can do that, then the question is, is it still work?
I guess that's where I'm lucky. Monday through Friday I work as a Software Developer. That means that of the time I'm at work, about 65% of my time is spent doing one of the activities I love the most: Programming. On top of that, I get to work with people who I really like and who are also passionate about programming. I still come home tired at the end of the day, (being creative and problem solving are heavy lifting for the brain) but I'm often happy with what I accomplished and can looking forward to the next day's activities.
Now, if I could just come up with a way to make money while I was sleeping!
Today I decided that it was time to write again. So I sat down and wrote some software. Wait! Don't glaze over! The sofatware was nothing special, just some minor enhancements for an online photo album. The thing is that writing software is a good outlet for me. I get to exercise my creativity and problem solving skills while apply them to projects that I find interesting and challenging. I think its that last bit that makes it rewarding and refreshing.
Think about your week. When was the last time you sat down and did something you wanted to for a few hours? Did you enjoy yourself? Was it rewarding? If you answered yes to either of those, then for most people, chances are you weren't doing anything related to your normal job.
That's where the business of life comes in. We all need to survive. That means meeting our basic needs for food, shelter and clothing and then looking to our safety and security. Unfortunately thats where it ends for far too many people. They get so caught up with just making ends meet that they miss out on the rest of life's offerings.
The real trick is to find work that generates enough income to meet your needs but doesn't leave you too drained at the end of the day to enjoy the few hours you have left over after you factor in personal care, transportation, eating and sleeping. Of course, if you can do that, then the question is, is it still work?
I guess that's where I'm lucky. Monday through Friday I work as a Software Developer. That means that of the time I'm at work, about 65% of my time is spent doing one of the activities I love the most: Programming. On top of that, I get to work with people who I really like and who are also passionate about programming. I still come home tired at the end of the day, (being creative and problem solving are heavy lifting for the brain) but I'm often happy with what I accomplished and can looking forward to the next day's activities.
Now, if I could just come up with a way to make money while I was sleeping!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Doubly Blessed
So, yesterday I got some great news. My best friend and his wife are now the proud parents of a new baby boy who came into the world at 10:30AM. I got the call later in the afternoon while I was at work and it literally took me about two hours to get my head back out of the clouds and able to concentrate on my work. We've been praying for them to be able to start their family for a long time and now that its happened I'm just so excited for them.
So today, I'm at the office again, yes, on Saturday, working on a project that's overdue. Well, trying to work. I've been here for almost two hours and haven't done a single thing yet. I'm working too hard and too much lately and I just can't seem to get started today. Just as I managed to start coding on the project, my cell phone rings again. This time it was my Dad calling to tell me that my sister and her husband are celebrating the arrival of their daughter at 6:30 this morning.
Wow! Less than 24 hours apart two families close to me have been blessed with new life! We've had many months to anticipate the births of these children and now God has delivered them both safely. I know that they will have great futures and I'm looking forward to watching them grow up. I'm very glad that I will get to be a part of their lives and know that, like with my nephews, I will be greatly blessed by these children.
So today, I'm at the office again, yes, on Saturday, working on a project that's overdue. Well, trying to work. I've been here for almost two hours and haven't done a single thing yet. I'm working too hard and too much lately and I just can't seem to get started today. Just as I managed to start coding on the project, my cell phone rings again. This time it was my Dad calling to tell me that my sister and her husband are celebrating the arrival of their daughter at 6:30 this morning.
Wow! Less than 24 hours apart two families close to me have been blessed with new life! We've had many months to anticipate the births of these children and now God has delivered them both safely. I know that they will have great futures and I'm looking forward to watching them grow up. I'm very glad that I will get to be a part of their lives and know that, like with my nephews, I will be greatly blessed by these children.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Stuff About the Small Stuff: Christian cheese is bad for you
I really like the parallel between the Church and a bar. I've always wondered what someone who's not familiar with the Church and Christianity would think if they walked into my church on a Sunday morning. My church is not terribly extreme one way or the other but I still always think that they'd be pretty uncomfortable. Kinda like how I'd feel in pretty much any bar in town. Or a night club, or a lounge.
Of course, if the Holy Spirit has worked in their heart enough to get them through the door, then I have to have faith that the work begun will be continued to completion.
The irony is that the Church has "worked hard" to separate itself from bars, dances, and other normal social gatherings over the past few centuries and we can certainly see the results. The family has been redefined, divorce rates are up, teen-age pregnancies and abortions are up, and the list goes on. At this rate, its not going to be long until the Philippines and Venezuela are sending missionaries to us!
If we want to reach the people who aren't comfortable in a church, then maybe church should be a lot less like church and a lot more like a bar. Cheers comes to mind...
Of course, if the Holy Spirit has worked in their heart enough to get them through the door, then I have to have faith that the work begun will be continued to completion.
The irony is that the Church has "worked hard" to separate itself from bars, dances, and other normal social gatherings over the past few centuries and we can certainly see the results. The family has been redefined, divorce rates are up, teen-age pregnancies and abortions are up, and the list goes on. At this rate, its not going to be long until the Philippines and Venezuela are sending missionaries to us!
If we want to reach the people who aren't comfortable in a church, then maybe church should be a lot less like church and a lot more like a bar. Cheers comes to mind...
Monday, August 15, 2005
Vacation of a Lifetime
Well, I know I'll get mocked for this but I just had the best vacation ever. We just got back from a long weekend in Vancouver where we did nothing. Well, nothing but walk, drive, eat, drive and walk. Anyone who knows me is probably scratching their head wondering how I could possibly thing that was the vacation of a lifetime, especially if it was only three days.
First of all, it was three days without any work. None. Zero. Zip. I can't remember the last time I went an entire weekend without working, let alone a long weekend. That alone would have made this a great vacation.
Second, we spent the entire weekend with great friends. Some who we neever see, some who we rarely see and some who we see frequently but all of whom we wish we could spend more time with. And most of that was unplanned. Way cool!
Third, we ate fantastic food. As everyone knows, I'm a picky eater. Well, other than a really gross omlette at the B&B on saturday morning, nothing passed my lips that wasn't absolutely the best food that could be found anywhere North of the the 40th. There was one restaurant in particular that really stood out called the Memphis Bar-B-Que. (Or something like that.) We ordered a sampler platter for four people and couldn't finish it. The best part was there were no vegetables. The whole thing was meat, beans and fries! Absolutely fabulous!
Fourth, we got to experience the amazing pleasures of Krispy Kreme donuts fresh off the machine. Free! Now, I've been hearing about these donuts from everyone but had my doubts about how good they could be. After all, I've had donuts hundreds (thousands?) of times and while I may not quite be a pastry connoisseur, I know when I've eaten something good. Well let me tell you, if you've never had a Krisp Kreme right off the conveyor, you haven't had a donut.
Fifth, the Abbotsford International Air Show. I'd never been to an air show before and once we got there the only words I used were: Wow, Cool, Awesome, Amazing. I was completely thrilled with the whole experience and other than a nasty sunburn (despite liberal applications of SPF-40) there was nothing that could have made that day better. Well almost nothing. The steak dinner and fellowship that night was definitely the right way to end the day.
Sixth, seeing the F177a Nighthawk Stealth Fighter in person on the ground at the air show. And then finding out that it was actually going to be part of the flight demonstrations. And then finding out that the B2 Stealth Bomber was also going to be part of the flight demonstrations. Wow! Cool! I never ever thought I would get to see either of those planes fly and I fluked out and got to see them both on the same day. Awesome! And the fact that either of those planes can even get off the ground is simply amazing.
Seven, the Snowbirds. As always, they put on an incredible show and make me very proud to be Canadian. If you haven't seen the Snowbirds recently, please, go! Its worth it.
I've got lots more memories and experiences from this weekend that made it great but on a whole, the best thing was that I was with dear friends and simply wasn't working. Anywhere I can do that is a good vacation. Hopefully the next time isn't too far in the future!
First of all, it was three days without any work. None. Zero. Zip. I can't remember the last time I went an entire weekend without working, let alone a long weekend. That alone would have made this a great vacation.
Second, we spent the entire weekend with great friends. Some who we neever see, some who we rarely see and some who we see frequently but all of whom we wish we could spend more time with. And most of that was unplanned. Way cool!
Third, we ate fantastic food. As everyone knows, I'm a picky eater. Well, other than a really gross omlette at the B&B on saturday morning, nothing passed my lips that wasn't absolutely the best food that could be found anywhere North of the the 40th. There was one restaurant in particular that really stood out called the Memphis Bar-B-Que. (Or something like that.) We ordered a sampler platter for four people and couldn't finish it. The best part was there were no vegetables. The whole thing was meat, beans and fries! Absolutely fabulous!
Fourth, we got to experience the amazing pleasures of Krispy Kreme donuts fresh off the machine. Free! Now, I've been hearing about these donuts from everyone but had my doubts about how good they could be. After all, I've had donuts hundreds (thousands?) of times and while I may not quite be a pastry connoisseur, I know when I've eaten something good. Well let me tell you, if you've never had a Krisp Kreme right off the conveyor, you haven't had a donut.
Fifth, the Abbotsford International Air Show. I'd never been to an air show before and once we got there the only words I used were: Wow, Cool, Awesome, Amazing. I was completely thrilled with the whole experience and other than a nasty sunburn (despite liberal applications of SPF-40) there was nothing that could have made that day better. Well almost nothing. The steak dinner and fellowship that night was definitely the right way to end the day.
Sixth, seeing the F177a Nighthawk Stealth Fighter in person on the ground at the air show. And then finding out that it was actually going to be part of the flight demonstrations. And then finding out that the B2 Stealth Bomber was also going to be part of the flight demonstrations. Wow! Cool! I never ever thought I would get to see either of those planes fly and I fluked out and got to see them both on the same day. Awesome! And the fact that either of those planes can even get off the ground is simply amazing.
Seven, the Snowbirds. As always, they put on an incredible show and make me very proud to be Canadian. If you haven't seen the Snowbirds recently, please, go! Its worth it.
I've got lots more memories and experiences from this weekend that made it great but on a whole, the best thing was that I was with dear friends and simply wasn't working. Anywhere I can do that is a good vacation. Hopefully the next time isn't too far in the future!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
The Joys of Home Ownership
As is my usual custom, I take a break from sleeping around 4:00 AM every morning. Sometimes its to adjust all the windows and fans, sometimes to yell a the dog next door and sometimes to find my pillow across the room (I really don't know how it gets over there). Last night it was to pee.
When I got to the bathroom I figured that my wife must have been there just before me as the toilet sounded like it had been recently flushed and was still filling. As I sat (I always sit at home, like a good husband should) and did my thing, I gradually realized that the water was still running in the toilet. It should have shut off by now right? Well, since I know time gets skewed while I'm sleepy, I flushed and waited to see how long it would run. Well, it ran and ran and ran. Crap. If it wasn't shutting off then it likely had been trying to overflow the septic tank since we went to bed.
So, off comes the top of the tank and I have a look. Sure enough, the float needs to be adjusted. No problem, I've done that before. Of course, its never just come off in my hands before. Crap. As I stand there stupidly looking at this gross corroded metal and plastic piece of debris I realized that to deal with this I was going to have to wake all the way up. Crap.
I gradually stop squinting and take a closer look at the float. It snapped off about a quarter of an inch from where it fastens to the thingamajig. So, now that I'm fully awake I realize that I'm not going to be able to fix this tonight. Crap. Woke up for nothing. I drop the float into the tub, turn off the water supply to the toilet and head back to bed.
Now, I know people who plan for every contingency but I'll bet they don't plan on their toilet breaking. What are they gonna do? Are they they gonna keep a spare toilet in the downstairs closet just in case? I don't think so.
No, if their like me, they keep their spare toilet in the ensuite. You, know the one that we started renovating before we moved in and haven't finished in two and a half years of occupancy. The toilet hasn't sat on the whole in the floor since before we moved in so tonight, while I was still awake, we robbed the top half of the thingamajig from the green toilet in the ensuite and put it on the harvest gold toilet in the main bathroom. Problem solved. Well, at least until we finish the ensuite and need a functioning toilet in there.
When I got to the bathroom I figured that my wife must have been there just before me as the toilet sounded like it had been recently flushed and was still filling. As I sat (I always sit at home, like a good husband should) and did my thing, I gradually realized that the water was still running in the toilet. It should have shut off by now right? Well, since I know time gets skewed while I'm sleepy, I flushed and waited to see how long it would run. Well, it ran and ran and ran. Crap. If it wasn't shutting off then it likely had been trying to overflow the septic tank since we went to bed.
So, off comes the top of the tank and I have a look. Sure enough, the float needs to be adjusted. No problem, I've done that before. Of course, its never just come off in my hands before. Crap. As I stand there stupidly looking at this gross corroded metal and plastic piece of debris I realized that to deal with this I was going to have to wake all the way up. Crap.
I gradually stop squinting and take a closer look at the float. It snapped off about a quarter of an inch from where it fastens to the thingamajig. So, now that I'm fully awake I realize that I'm not going to be able to fix this tonight. Crap. Woke up for nothing. I drop the float into the tub, turn off the water supply to the toilet and head back to bed.
Now, I know people who plan for every contingency but I'll bet they don't plan on their toilet breaking. What are they gonna do? Are they they gonna keep a spare toilet in the downstairs closet just in case? I don't think so.
No, if their like me, they keep their spare toilet in the ensuite. You, know the one that we started renovating before we moved in and haven't finished in two and a half years of occupancy. The toilet hasn't sat on the whole in the floor since before we moved in so tonight, while I was still awake, we robbed the top half of the thingamajig from the green toilet in the ensuite and put it on the harvest gold toilet in the main bathroom. Problem solved. Well, at least until we finish the ensuite and need a functioning toilet in there.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Santa's A Scam
That was the front page headline of the Christmas 1993 issue of Free Verse magazine, a little underground publication put out by my brother and his friends. I had forgotten all about it until I came across it today as I was cleaning out some old files. As I sat and read through it I had a good chuckle. Those were good days back then. I was young, naive and ready to take on the world.
A whole lot has happened in my life since 1993 but here are some tidbits from the past 13 years:
In the middle of Free Verse was a regular feature called Poet's Corner. One particular poem caught my eye.
I don't think I'll every truly be wise, not like Solomon, but someday, maybe, I'll have learned to listen to the voice of wisdom.
A whole lot has happened in my life since 1993 but here are some tidbits from the past 13 years:
- I got married
- Received one speeding ticket
- Changed vehicles 7 times
- Moved 10 times
- Changed jobs 13 times
- Learned to play bass
- Saw a Major League Baseball game in Seattle
- Tore my ACL 3 times
- Saw a Ray Charles concert before he died
- Attended a Norm Stockton bass clinic
- Taught The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
- Became a foster parent
- Became a member of my church
- Paid off my student loans
In the middle of Free Verse was a regular feature called Poet's Corner. One particular poem caught my eye.
IgnoranceI'm a lot older now (and a lot heavier) but the irony is that I still haven't lived half of my life yet. I feel like I've learned a lot but I also feel like I've barely scratched the surface.
Wisdom all around me
I listen to your sound
hearing what you say
but going my own way.
- Myriad
I don't think I'll every truly be wise, not like Solomon, but someday, maybe, I'll have learned to listen to the voice of wisdom.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
A Thought on Parenting
I'm not a parent. I have no plans to be a parent, at least not a natural parent. What this means is that while I may have ideas on how parenting should be done, I have no experience to lend any credence to my ideas and should be flat out ignored.
Case in point. I was talking about kids with my brother (who has three kids) and mentioned how I don't think its bad to let them cry once and awhile. His response was that "yeah, we thought that with our oldest son". As I mentally patted myself on the back, he proceeded to say that after awhile of doing that their oldest son began to hate going to bed and would start screaming as soon as they put him down.
So when they had their second son they did things differently. If he cried after they put him to bed, they went and got him, held him and waited until he calmed down and then put him back to bed. He never learned to hate going to bed. And once again, I learned that no matter what I think I know, I don't actually know anything about parenting.
Being from a family of seven (two younger brothers and two younger sisters) I have a sneaking suspicion that every child is different. What works on one child may work on another, but then again it may not. There were a number of years when I got spanked frequently for all the trouble I caused. I think that worked as I like to think I turned out okay. My youngest sister got spanked too for her infractions, for awhile, but Mom and Dad realized that she wasn't responding to that. It wasn't the same deterrent for her that it was for me.
So we've already established that I don't know anything about parenting. I have ideas of how to parent, some of which may be good ideas and some of which may be bad ideas, depending on the child they're being applied to. So how do know if someone is doing a good job with their children, or better yet... if I ever have kids how do I know when I'm doing a good job?
Let me tell you about what I saw last night. There's a church nearby that has been without a music pastor for awhile. They've hired a new one but he can't start for awhile yet so they've been having lay leaders and guest leaders for a few months. My brother with the three kids is one of the guest leaders and last night was his second time leading worship in their church. It was a Saturday evening service and there was no childcare provided. My wife, my youngest brother and I sat with his wife and their three boys, obstensibly to give her a hand although she had everything well under control.
As is typical with most churches the service began with music and as my brother walked out onto the stage, one of his sons proceeded to yell, "Hey, there's my Dad!" There was a little titter of laughter around us and a number of people turned to look. As the music started we all got to our feet and started clapping with the beat. At this point I wasn't paying too much attention to the boys as I had just noticed the bass player's bass and realized that it was one of those cool Novax Fanned-Fret instruments made by Dingwall. It took me awhile to remember that's what it was and for the first few songs I was completely distracted trying to think of the name.
As the worship set progressed I eventually remembered that I was supposed to be helping watch the boys. As I glanced around me looking for them (they tend to get out of sight very quickly) I spotted the oldest two, one on each side of my youngest brother. They were both standing on the bench and clapping with the beat and singing the words to the song. I was about to get after them for standing on the pew, especially with their shoes on when I realized what I was seeing.
The two boys were worshipping with us. Three years old and five years old. They weren't goofing off or drawing pictures or being loud and obnoxious or even sitting like well behaved dolls. They were entering freely into worship of our God, clapping and singing their hearts out. And they were a whole lot less distracted than me. At that momement I knew that my brother and his wife are doing a great job with their children. After all, what could be more important to teach them than to worship the Lord?
"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise." Psalm 8:2
Case in point. I was talking about kids with my brother (who has three kids) and mentioned how I don't think its bad to let them cry once and awhile. His response was that "yeah, we thought that with our oldest son". As I mentally patted myself on the back, he proceeded to say that after awhile of doing that their oldest son began to hate going to bed and would start screaming as soon as they put him down.
So when they had their second son they did things differently. If he cried after they put him to bed, they went and got him, held him and waited until he calmed down and then put him back to bed. He never learned to hate going to bed. And once again, I learned that no matter what I think I know, I don't actually know anything about parenting.
Being from a family of seven (two younger brothers and two younger sisters) I have a sneaking suspicion that every child is different. What works on one child may work on another, but then again it may not. There were a number of years when I got spanked frequently for all the trouble I caused. I think that worked as I like to think I turned out okay. My youngest sister got spanked too for her infractions, for awhile, but Mom and Dad realized that she wasn't responding to that. It wasn't the same deterrent for her that it was for me.
So we've already established that I don't know anything about parenting. I have ideas of how to parent, some of which may be good ideas and some of which may be bad ideas, depending on the child they're being applied to. So how do know if someone is doing a good job with their children, or better yet... if I ever have kids how do I know when I'm doing a good job?
Let me tell you about what I saw last night. There's a church nearby that has been without a music pastor for awhile. They've hired a new one but he can't start for awhile yet so they've been having lay leaders and guest leaders for a few months. My brother with the three kids is one of the guest leaders and last night was his second time leading worship in their church. It was a Saturday evening service and there was no childcare provided. My wife, my youngest brother and I sat with his wife and their three boys, obstensibly to give her a hand although she had everything well under control.
As is typical with most churches the service began with music and as my brother walked out onto the stage, one of his sons proceeded to yell, "Hey, there's my Dad!" There was a little titter of laughter around us and a number of people turned to look. As the music started we all got to our feet and started clapping with the beat. At this point I wasn't paying too much attention to the boys as I had just noticed the bass player's bass and realized that it was one of those cool Novax Fanned-Fret instruments made by Dingwall. It took me awhile to remember that's what it was and for the first few songs I was completely distracted trying to think of the name.
As the worship set progressed I eventually remembered that I was supposed to be helping watch the boys. As I glanced around me looking for them (they tend to get out of sight very quickly) I spotted the oldest two, one on each side of my youngest brother. They were both standing on the bench and clapping with the beat and singing the words to the song. I was about to get after them for standing on the pew, especially with their shoes on when I realized what I was seeing.
The two boys were worshipping with us. Three years old and five years old. They weren't goofing off or drawing pictures or being loud and obnoxious or even sitting like well behaved dolls. They were entering freely into worship of our God, clapping and singing their hearts out. And they were a whole lot less distracted than me. At that momement I knew that my brother and his wife are doing a great job with their children. After all, what could be more important to teach them than to worship the Lord?
"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise." Psalm 8:2
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Thankful for Where I'm At
So normally I complain bitterly all summer about how hot it is here. Normally its 35-40 degrees Celcius every day from about May 15th until the end of August. Normally.
Not this summer. This summer we've had sprinkles, showers, thundershowers and torrential rain with patches of sun once or twice a week. Of course, most of the residents around here are complaining bitterly about it but, badup, bup bup baaa, I'm loving it.
And, while I like the winter a lot better than the summer, I'm very glad I'm not this guy.
Not this summer. This summer we've had sprinkles, showers, thundershowers and torrential rain with patches of sun once or twice a week. Of course, most of the residents around here are complaining bitterly about it but, badup, bup bup baaa, I'm loving it.
And, while I like the winter a lot better than the summer, I'm very glad I'm not this guy.
Followup on Ravings of a Lunatic
I came across an interesting discussion on Slashdot today about the public education system in the US of A. Its quite a lively debate but some good points have come out of it. Considering my view of Home Schooling, its interesting to read what other people think about public education and their ideas for making it better.
http://ask.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/07/10/1719223
Ask Slashdot question: What, in your opinion, would make primary and secondary education as good as possible? I have no experience of education outside the US, but I can say confidently that public education in my country sucks. And it may always suck. However, what can we do to make it suck less?"One of the first responses suggested the following improvements:For the purpose of this question, the following are givens:
1. I know that there is a strong libertarian faction in this community, who might like to see public education disappear. Let's assume, though, that that isn't going to happen any time soon, and that there will be a public school system for the foreseeable future.
2. Similarly, many Slashdot readers are brilliant people who have educated themselves to a large extent. Let's further accept that most people are not capable of doing this, or at any rate need help reaching that sort of educational self-sufficiency.
- stop inflating grades (a recent article reflected on how many schools now have so many valedictorians (one in Seattle actually had 47 valedictorians!) that many have had to dispense with the tradition of having valedictorian address the graduating classes). (The New Yorker article is here [newyorker.com] and is a long, but worthwhile read.)
- more emphasis on (mathematics) basics. Get rid of the calculators, at least until after the fundamentals are assuredly learned. Make students learn how to use slide rules, for the sake and feel of what is really happening during calculations (addition of log tables... illustrates nice short cuts for coming up with fast and accurate estimates for seemingly complex "problems")
- more emphasis on (language skills) basics. It would be nice to go an entire day without something totally illiterate on the CNN Headline News crawler. (We once had a "discussion" with our daughter's teacher because he said he wasn't so much interested in her spelling correctly and applying grammatical principles correctly as he was in what she was saying. While we agreed what she was trying to say was important, we felt it equally important (for a fifth grader) to be grounded in grammatical and spelling fundamentals)
- stop moving kids onto the next grade if they really didn't perform at the level necessary. It's become an "everybody gets a trophy" society, and that's not consistent with the real world. Kids more than ever need to understand rewards and accountability.
- standards of competency for teachers (rather than tenure by unions). We once accused our daughter of "doctoring" a bad grade when she brought it back with an updated "note" from her teacher. We were convinced she had not met with the teacher because the "note" on her paper from the teacher was illiterate. We were all embarrassed when we confronted the teacher and found he indeed had written the note (maybe that's why he was not so interested in our daughter's grammar).
- stop relying on technology as the next silver bullet in transcendental teaching philosophies and techniques
- get rid of MTV
http://ask.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/07/10/1719223
Friday, July 08, 2005
Are There Rules or Not?
Daryl talks about being an "uneducated" music pastor and why he is frustrated with the fruits of Christian Post-Secondary institutions. To give my post a context, you might want to read his post first.
While I have experienced God's grace and forgiveness I have to admit that I haven't fully embraced it. I attend a middle class church that looks down on people and I often end up guilty of doing the same thing.
A recent example of this is with the band that I play in. We had our acoustic guitar player and his wife leave the band early this sping. He is a music pastor and is going through his ordination and his wife just delivered their first child. On top of that they live 45 minutes away from where we pratice so coming into town every week (plus gigs) are four hour commitment every time. They realized that at this point in their life it was too much and wisely decided that for the time being they needed focus on their family and the ordination. It was a hard decision for them but as much as we miss them, we respect and agree with their choice.
As a result though, the band has been forced to make a choice as well. We either find replacements or write new arrangements of our songs, sans vocalists. Considering the hundreds of hours we collectively invested into the current song list it seemed easier to find replacements. Well, it hasn't been easy. In fact, we have had a hard time even coming up with people to approach. Those that we have approached are too busy and not able to commit the time required or are pursuing different musical paths (eg: professional recording artist).
Then one day, clear out of the blue, an acoustic guitarist I had jammed with a couple times mentioned that he was having a hard time getting on a worship team at his church. I don't know why I hadn't thought of asking hime before but I figured he'd be a good addition to our band. I knew he could play our music in his sleep and he has a knack for making everyone else around him sound better than they are. In my mind, he is the best type of musician: one who is supremely skilled and uses those skills to help everyone play better. Of course, he'd be even better if he could read music, but that's a rant for another day.
Anyway, I spoke to the band about him and described him pretty much as I have here. They were definately interested and gave me the go-ahead to ask him if he'd like to come out to a couple of practices. He did and it was great. Everyone liked him and felt good about the fit both musically and personality wise. (From here on I'll refer to him as "the new guy".)
Then I remembered something... The reason I know "the new guy" is because his girlfriend works at my company. They live together. They're not married. He's a Christian. She's not a Christian. If that's not enough, they drink and they smoke and they... *gulp* ...Dance.
Well, in my church, that's a bad thing. A couple of years back, another couple was not allowed to particpate in the music ministry because they weren't married, were living together and had a son together. He played in a secular band in bars around the province. Between that, the not married and some other "issues" they eventually left the church. At the time I was pretty upset. They needed a church more than ever at that point and we chased them out. (I use the word we because it is my church. I'm a member.)
So anyway, remembering the previous couple, I spoke to the leader of our band about "the new guy". At first he was okay with it and said that sin is sin and we're all guilty of something. There's no grey. The two of us decided that it wasn't something we needed to bring up with the rest of the band. A couple weeks later though we spoke about it again. It was weighing on his mind and he wasn't sure what to do about it. We kinda left it at "maybe God wants him in the band and will use it to convict him."
Since then its been weighing on my mind a lot and now I'm not so sure what the right choice is. Sometimes I think I should talk to "the new guy" and confront him about his lifestyle. After all, he's a Christian and should know better. Then I think about his girlfriend, my co-worker, and wonder what she'll think of me and the "church" if I do that. Does she not need to be gently led into the fold before we beat her over the head with our theology? Then I think no, its my church that needs to change. And as the pendulum inside my brain bangs on my ears I realize that I don't know what to think.
I've got friends who take the black and white view. Any one of them would be the first to admit that they're not perfect but will maintain that there are some things that are just not acceptable for a Christian to do. Things like sleeping with someone you're not married to. I've got other friends who "rely" on God's grace and forgiveness to let them live the lifestyle they want. And of course I know some fence riders. They show up at church every Sunday but don't seem to be aligned with the left or the right. (This is the category I'd place myself into.)
Then there's Daryl. Daryl has a view of God and God's grace that's truly different. Somehow he's managed to let God accept him as he is, flaws, faults and vices. When I talk with him, I start to understand his view. It brings hope and freedom and I think its too good to be true. As we talk he persuades me that it is true and I feel excited and peaceful at the same time. Then he leaves, or I leave and within a few minutes the understanding fades and I fall back to where I am now.
Of all the ways to look at things, I like Daryl's the best. Its also the way that I understand the least and am the most unable to defend. And that's the problem. I'm a largely rational person who likes rational explanations for everything. (I say largely because the only proof I have for believing in God is my own existance, but given that to stand on, the rest is relatively easy.) For some reason though I haven't been able to fully comprehend his view to be able to incorporate it into my own. I can't rationalize it and therefore I can't live it.
Daryl blogged about not having any education past high school but has been clearly led and prepared by God for the role he fills now. Well, other than a failed attempt at electronics engineering degree, I don't have any formal education since high school either and I too can see how God clearly prepared me for the role I'm in. The difference is, Daryl seems to understand what he's called to do while I don't have a clue.
Where does that leave me? Sitting on the fence wondering what to do about "the new guy". Heck... Forget about the new guy! What about me? Am I forgiven or not? What does that mean? Are there rules or not?
Now I don't want to come across as just another poor lost soul on the Internet. I'm not. I'm saved by grace through faith and I know where I'll be spending eternity. Its just the time between now and then that I'm having a hard time with. And I sure can't hold anyone else to a standard while I'm figuring it out.
"While I am in the world, I am the light of the world." - John 9:5.
While I have experienced God's grace and forgiveness I have to admit that I haven't fully embraced it. I attend a middle class church that looks down on people and I often end up guilty of doing the same thing.
A recent example of this is with the band that I play in. We had our acoustic guitar player and his wife leave the band early this sping. He is a music pastor and is going through his ordination and his wife just delivered their first child. On top of that they live 45 minutes away from where we pratice so coming into town every week (plus gigs) are four hour commitment every time. They realized that at this point in their life it was too much and wisely decided that for the time being they needed focus on their family and the ordination. It was a hard decision for them but as much as we miss them, we respect and agree with their choice.
As a result though, the band has been forced to make a choice as well. We either find replacements or write new arrangements of our songs, sans vocalists. Considering the hundreds of hours we collectively invested into the current song list it seemed easier to find replacements. Well, it hasn't been easy. In fact, we have had a hard time even coming up with people to approach. Those that we have approached are too busy and not able to commit the time required or are pursuing different musical paths (eg: professional recording artist).
Then one day, clear out of the blue, an acoustic guitarist I had jammed with a couple times mentioned that he was having a hard time getting on a worship team at his church. I don't know why I hadn't thought of asking hime before but I figured he'd be a good addition to our band. I knew he could play our music in his sleep and he has a knack for making everyone else around him sound better than they are. In my mind, he is the best type of musician: one who is supremely skilled and uses those skills to help everyone play better. Of course, he'd be even better if he could read music, but that's a rant for another day.
Anyway, I spoke to the band about him and described him pretty much as I have here. They were definately interested and gave me the go-ahead to ask him if he'd like to come out to a couple of practices. He did and it was great. Everyone liked him and felt good about the fit both musically and personality wise. (From here on I'll refer to him as "the new guy".)
Then I remembered something... The reason I know "the new guy" is because his girlfriend works at my company. They live together. They're not married. He's a Christian. She's not a Christian. If that's not enough, they drink and they smoke and they... *gulp* ...Dance.
Well, in my church, that's a bad thing. A couple of years back, another couple was not allowed to particpate in the music ministry because they weren't married, were living together and had a son together. He played in a secular band in bars around the province. Between that, the not married and some other "issues" they eventually left the church. At the time I was pretty upset. They needed a church more than ever at that point and we chased them out. (I use the word we because it is my church. I'm a member.)
So anyway, remembering the previous couple, I spoke to the leader of our band about "the new guy". At first he was okay with it and said that sin is sin and we're all guilty of something. There's no grey. The two of us decided that it wasn't something we needed to bring up with the rest of the band. A couple weeks later though we spoke about it again. It was weighing on his mind and he wasn't sure what to do about it. We kinda left it at "maybe God wants him in the band and will use it to convict him."
Since then its been weighing on my mind a lot and now I'm not so sure what the right choice is. Sometimes I think I should talk to "the new guy" and confront him about his lifestyle. After all, he's a Christian and should know better. Then I think about his girlfriend, my co-worker, and wonder what she'll think of me and the "church" if I do that. Does she not need to be gently led into the fold before we beat her over the head with our theology? Then I think no, its my church that needs to change. And as the pendulum inside my brain bangs on my ears I realize that I don't know what to think.
I've got friends who take the black and white view. Any one of them would be the first to admit that they're not perfect but will maintain that there are some things that are just not acceptable for a Christian to do. Things like sleeping with someone you're not married to. I've got other friends who "rely" on God's grace and forgiveness to let them live the lifestyle they want. And of course I know some fence riders. They show up at church every Sunday but don't seem to be aligned with the left or the right. (This is the category I'd place myself into.)
Then there's Daryl. Daryl has a view of God and God's grace that's truly different. Somehow he's managed to let God accept him as he is, flaws, faults and vices. When I talk with him, I start to understand his view. It brings hope and freedom and I think its too good to be true. As we talk he persuades me that it is true and I feel excited and peaceful at the same time. Then he leaves, or I leave and within a few minutes the understanding fades and I fall back to where I am now.
Of all the ways to look at things, I like Daryl's the best. Its also the way that I understand the least and am the most unable to defend. And that's the problem. I'm a largely rational person who likes rational explanations for everything. (I say largely because the only proof I have for believing in God is my own existance, but given that to stand on, the rest is relatively easy.) For some reason though I haven't been able to fully comprehend his view to be able to incorporate it into my own. I can't rationalize it and therefore I can't live it.
Daryl blogged about not having any education past high school but has been clearly led and prepared by God for the role he fills now. Well, other than a failed attempt at electronics engineering degree, I don't have any formal education since high school either and I too can see how God clearly prepared me for the role I'm in. The difference is, Daryl seems to understand what he's called to do while I don't have a clue.
Where does that leave me? Sitting on the fence wondering what to do about "the new guy". Heck... Forget about the new guy! What about me? Am I forgiven or not? What does that mean? Are there rules or not?
Now I don't want to come across as just another poor lost soul on the Internet. I'm not. I'm saved by grace through faith and I know where I'll be spending eternity. Its just the time between now and then that I'm having a hard time with. And I sure can't hold anyone else to a standard while I'm figuring it out.
"While I am in the world, I am the light of the world." - John 9:5.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
God's Backhand
So one of the guys I know (I'll call him Peter but that's not his real name) suffers from Ulcerative Colitis. Its a nasty, uncurable disease of the digestive system and its taken Peter about 20 years and even more doctors to finally find a doctor who could help him. The good news is that he's now relatively symptom free.
About eight years ago Peter's best friend (I'll call him John, BTNHRN) used Peter's disease and suffering against him to steal his wife. Peter has had relatively little contact with them since then but in the last few days Peter has been hearing via the grapevine that John has been recently diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. Its a nasty uncurable disease similar to UC, only worse.
Us mere mortals might think that John is getting what he deserves and for awhile, Peter thought this way. But after 20 years of suffering Peter knows what John is looking forward to and feels a lot of empathy. So now he's got a decision to make: Send John the name of his doctor or let John suffer.
Over the course of this story unfolding a phrase was used several times: God's Backhand. Some people view God as this big guy upstairs watching their every move, just waiting for them to step out of line. When they do, he'll knock them off their feet with a good backhand to the head. Richard Hackley is one such person and subsequently wrote the song, God's Backhand.
So, you're probably wondering what Peter did. Did he help John out or is he going to get even and let him suffer? Well, before I answer that, I'd like to know what you would do.
Oh, what did you think of the song?
About eight years ago Peter's best friend (I'll call him John, BTNHRN) used Peter's disease and suffering against him to steal his wife. Peter has had relatively little contact with them since then but in the last few days Peter has been hearing via the grapevine that John has been recently diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. Its a nasty uncurable disease similar to UC, only worse.
Us mere mortals might think that John is getting what he deserves and for awhile, Peter thought this way. But after 20 years of suffering Peter knows what John is looking forward to and feels a lot of empathy. So now he's got a decision to make: Send John the name of his doctor or let John suffer.
Over the course of this story unfolding a phrase was used several times: God's Backhand. Some people view God as this big guy upstairs watching their every move, just waiting for them to step out of line. When they do, he'll knock them off their feet with a good backhand to the head. Richard Hackley is one such person and subsequently wrote the song, God's Backhand.
So, you're probably wondering what Peter did. Did he help John out or is he going to get even and let him suffer? Well, before I answer that, I'd like to know what you would do.
Oh, what did you think of the song?
Monday, July 04, 2005
The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster
I'm sure I'm the last person on the net to find this but if you're a Star Wars fan you really should check out this blog:
The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster
I haven't finished reading it all yet but that hasn't stopped me from assigning a preliminary rating of 4/5.
The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster
I haven't finished reading it all yet but that hasn't stopped me from assigning a preliminary rating of 4/5.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Man's Best Friend
Normally its a nice dog. Very friendly and very playful. It seemed to live outside, rain or shine and we could frequently see it playing, digging and generally doing what dogs do. Its not our dog. It belongs to our neighbors (and I use that term loosely) to the North. We didn't mind it too much. In fact, from time to time we felt bad for it. It was generally alone and never got outside of the fence. Not even for walks on a leash.
So, about two weeks ago our neighbors decided to chain the dog up outside permanently. They put a pole about 25 feet from their back fence and then strung a cable from the pole to the fence. On the cable they clipped a chain and to the chain, the dog. I don't know why they did this. The yard is completely fenced and from what we can tell the dog had never gotten out.
For those of you who have visted us, you know how hot it gets in the summer time and while this summer has been a lot wetter and cooler, it still stays pretty warm overnight. Our usual habit is to put fans at each end of the house, one sucking air in, one blowing air out. In addition we leave all the windows open and sleep on top of the covers. It works but its not great. I sleep, but its fitfull and restless. Little did I know that in two weeks time I would be longing for fitfull and restless sleep.
At around 8:30 PM, the first night the dog was chained outside, everything changed. First the dog started yelping. You know the sound. That high pitched cry of pain like when you accidentally step on a tail and whatever the tail is attached to yelps. Every few minutes we'd hear a yelp. We had all the fans on as well as the TV so it was pretty easy to ignore so other than an occasional glance out the window we kept about our business. When we went to bed the dog was quiet again and we quickly fell asleep. That's when the howling started.
I've heard howling before. I used to live in rural Alberta where, if you were quiet at night, you could hear coyotes off in the distance. As a teenager I had read The Call of the Wild by Jack London and watched Kevin Costner's movie Dances with Wolves. Suffice it to say that I had a fairly romantic view of howling. Until that night.
First the yelps started again and gradually got louder. That was enough to wake me. Then the howling started. Not the romantic hollywood howling. No, this was a bone chilling, mournful howl the likes of which I had never heard before. I lay there and listened to it and the only thing I could figure was that maybe the dog was hurt. I got out of bed, went to the window and looked. The dog wasn't hurt.
Since I was awake I went to the bathroom, got a drink and wandered around the house. (I've noticed that this tends to happen more frequently the older I get.) When I completed my circuit the howling had stopped and I went back to bed. I feel asleep. The yelping started again and woke me up again. Then howling started. Again. This time when I got up and looked out the window I thought about going over to the neighbors. I wasn't feeling very neighborly though so I just closed the window and went back to bed.
It took a little longer to fall back asleep but eventually I did. About 2:00AM I woke up again soaked with sweat. With the window closed the room had heated up to about 27 degrees (that's 80 for my Anonymous readers from USA) and we were cooking. I opened the window, listened to the dog howling and then went and took a sleeping pill. The rest of the night passed ever so slowly and when morning came, I was in the most foul mood of my life. Or so I thought.
As I alluded to earlier, that was two weeks ago. Every night since then has been the same. We go to bed and fall asleep. The dog decides we shouldn't be sleeping and begins to howl. My thoughts of going over to visit the neighbors take on a violent tone and all hope of getting any sleep vanishes.
Now everyone knows that certain stages of sleep are needed for the regeneration of neurons within the cerebral cortex while other stages of sleep seem to be used for forming new memories and generating new synaptic connections. When you don't get enough sleep on a regular basis you will start to feel tiredness (duh!), irritability, and edginess. As sleeplessness continues you will be unable to tolerate stress and will notice problems with concentration and memory. Eventually you will experience behavioral, learning or social problems, frequent infections, blurred vision, vague discomfort, alterations in appetite and activity intolerance.
Well, after two weeks of sleepless nights I was feeling all of that and then some. So on July 1st at 5:30 in the morning while laying awake listening to the dog yelp I decided that enough was enough. I got dressed and stormed over to the neighbors house. I didn't know what I was going to say but I was going to say something. As I walked up to the door I noticed that it was very old and I could see through spaces around the edges. I banged on the door as hard as I could in the hopes that it would splinter into thousands of pieces and I could just barge right in. Alas, it was not to be. The door held firm but I was rewarded with huge booming thumps that resontated through the cool morning air. After many hard and particularly loud knocks I realized that if I didn't want the neighbor as upset and angry as I was I should probably stop. Too late though, he was already at the door.
Now we've lived next door to this house for a bit over two years. We've seen a lot of people come and go from that house and had come to the conclusion that more than one family (I use the word loosely) lived there. The guy that came to the door in nothing but his boxers, saggy gut and curly white was not someone who I had seen before. Nope. Caught completely by surprise at his nakedness and lack of familiarity, my anger diminished and I managed to say "Would you PLEASE keep your dog quiet." Wow. What amazing restraint! When I walked over there I was planning on damaging something and yet when the time came all I could manage was a Please! Puh-Leese!
Anyway, the naked guys says "Who are you?" and I respond, "I'm the neighbor who hasn't had a good night's sleep in two weeks because of your dog's barking howling and whining." He says "I'll see what I can do."
Yay! Finally! At last someone is going to silence that dog! I was almost giddy. Not so giddy that I couldn't think straight though. As I walked away from his house I realized that since I had never seen that guy before, chances are he wouldn't know which neighbor I was. So instead of walking straight back to my house I headed off in the opposite direction and walked around the block. Not bad for someone who is suffering from sleep deprivation, eh!
As I got back to the house my wife was just coming out the door with cell phone in hand. She had heard me banging on the door (cool!) and then had panicked at how long I was gone when I didn't come back right away. I reassured her that I was fine but after that we were both too wired to be able to go back to bed. Bummer cause the dog had stopped its yelping for the day.
As far as Canada Days go, it was a good one. I bummed around and caught up on some work, TV and XBox while my wife cleared a truckload of weeds from the back yard. After a trip to the grocery store and some BBQing we settled down for the evening in front of the TV to flip between a program on the Snowbirds and Canada Day celebrations across the country. It was all good.
Despite the next day being a Saturday, I knew that it would be foolish to stay up late when I was already so tired so at 10:30 we got all the fans set up, checked all the windows, did the bathroom routine and went to bed. And it was quiet.
Until 2:30AM.
Right on cue the dog started yelping, whining and howling again. I figured that if I was going to be awake and the dog was going to be awake, the neighbors shouldn't miss out on the fun. So I got up, got dressed and got ready to head over to their house. My wife, realizing the foolishness of such actions in the middle of the night, suggested that it would be safer if we called the police instead. Not wanting to argue with her I figured it was worth a shot. I knew they wouldn't come on a night when they would be quelling out of control Canada Day celebrations. After all, we weren't witnessing a drug deal, a gang fight, or an accident (maybe I could make it look like an accident...). It wasn't anything really serious. I called anyway.
After one ring the automated system picked up and asked me to press 1 if it was an emergency. While I debated about whether this was an emergency the voice then suggested that I press 2 if it was not an emergency. By this time I had decided it wasn't an emergency yet, so I pressed 2. About 2 seconds later I was talking to a real live person who was also awake in the middle of the night! Kudos to the RCMP! She asked what city and then proceeded to log my complaint. I told her that I knew the officers had more important things to deal with but if they had time for this I really would appreciate their help. She said that a car would be dispatched but that because of the Canada Day events they might not get there. Then she said the most wonderful words I had heard in a long time: "Sir, if they don't get there tonight, please call back again tomorrow night." Can you believe that! She called me Sir!
After I asked her if it was appropriate for me to bother them with such a trivial issue she reassured me and said that it was up to the officer who responded on whether or not anything could be done but that I was right to call. So for the first time in two weeks I began to feel a glimmer of hope that I would be able to sleep again. After profusely offering my thanks I hung up. I knew an officer wouldn't come that night but at least I had the option to call again the next night if the dog decided that I still didn't deserve to sleep. I walked around the house checking all the windows again and took a few moments to stare at the four-legged deamon next door.
Out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of headlights turning the corner on our street. It was a police cruiser. A glorious white car with a beautiful set of red and blue lights on top. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I watched an officer step out of the car and approach my front door. I quickly went and turned on the outside light. I was so excited that I couldn't wait for him to get all the way to the door! Out I flew, running down the steps and stopping in front of him on the sidewalk.
He asked me a number of questions and then said that he was new in the city and would have to check on what action he was able to take. My heart sank a little but having read the noise bylaw thoroughly I knew that the law was on my side. As the officer left my house he promised that he would call and let me know the outcome. An hour later he did and we haven't heard the dog since. It's chain hangs limply in the yard but the dog is nowhere to be seen.
Once again the evening is approaching and I can't help but think about how soon I will be crawling into bed. I can already feel the sheet laying lightly across my body, the sound of the fans moving air gently through the house. The neighborhood peaceful and at rest. Tonight I will have a good sleep.
So, about two weeks ago our neighbors decided to chain the dog up outside permanently. They put a pole about 25 feet from their back fence and then strung a cable from the pole to the fence. On the cable they clipped a chain and to the chain, the dog. I don't know why they did this. The yard is completely fenced and from what we can tell the dog had never gotten out.
For those of you who have visted us, you know how hot it gets in the summer time and while this summer has been a lot wetter and cooler, it still stays pretty warm overnight. Our usual habit is to put fans at each end of the house, one sucking air in, one blowing air out. In addition we leave all the windows open and sleep on top of the covers. It works but its not great. I sleep, but its fitfull and restless. Little did I know that in two weeks time I would be longing for fitfull and restless sleep.
At around 8:30 PM, the first night the dog was chained outside, everything changed. First the dog started yelping. You know the sound. That high pitched cry of pain like when you accidentally step on a tail and whatever the tail is attached to yelps. Every few minutes we'd hear a yelp. We had all the fans on as well as the TV so it was pretty easy to ignore so other than an occasional glance out the window we kept about our business. When we went to bed the dog was quiet again and we quickly fell asleep. That's when the howling started.
I've heard howling before. I used to live in rural Alberta where, if you were quiet at night, you could hear coyotes off in the distance. As a teenager I had read The Call of the Wild by Jack London and watched Kevin Costner's movie Dances with Wolves. Suffice it to say that I had a fairly romantic view of howling. Until that night.
First the yelps started again and gradually got louder. That was enough to wake me. Then the howling started. Not the romantic hollywood howling. No, this was a bone chilling, mournful howl the likes of which I had never heard before. I lay there and listened to it and the only thing I could figure was that maybe the dog was hurt. I got out of bed, went to the window and looked. The dog wasn't hurt.
Since I was awake I went to the bathroom, got a drink and wandered around the house. (I've noticed that this tends to happen more frequently the older I get.) When I completed my circuit the howling had stopped and I went back to bed. I feel asleep. The yelping started again and woke me up again. Then howling started. Again. This time when I got up and looked out the window I thought about going over to the neighbors. I wasn't feeling very neighborly though so I just closed the window and went back to bed.
It took a little longer to fall back asleep but eventually I did. About 2:00AM I woke up again soaked with sweat. With the window closed the room had heated up to about 27 degrees (that's 80 for my Anonymous readers from USA) and we were cooking. I opened the window, listened to the dog howling and then went and took a sleeping pill. The rest of the night passed ever so slowly and when morning came, I was in the most foul mood of my life. Or so I thought.
As I alluded to earlier, that was two weeks ago. Every night since then has been the same. We go to bed and fall asleep. The dog decides we shouldn't be sleeping and begins to howl. My thoughts of going over to visit the neighbors take on a violent tone and all hope of getting any sleep vanishes.
Now everyone knows that certain stages of sleep are needed for the regeneration of neurons within the cerebral cortex while other stages of sleep seem to be used for forming new memories and generating new synaptic connections. When you don't get enough sleep on a regular basis you will start to feel tiredness (duh!), irritability, and edginess. As sleeplessness continues you will be unable to tolerate stress and will notice problems with concentration and memory. Eventually you will experience behavioral, learning or social problems, frequent infections, blurred vision, vague discomfort, alterations in appetite and activity intolerance.
Well, after two weeks of sleepless nights I was feeling all of that and then some. So on July 1st at 5:30 in the morning while laying awake listening to the dog yelp I decided that enough was enough. I got dressed and stormed over to the neighbors house. I didn't know what I was going to say but I was going to say something. As I walked up to the door I noticed that it was very old and I could see through spaces around the edges. I banged on the door as hard as I could in the hopes that it would splinter into thousands of pieces and I could just barge right in. Alas, it was not to be. The door held firm but I was rewarded with huge booming thumps that resontated through the cool morning air. After many hard and particularly loud knocks I realized that if I didn't want the neighbor as upset and angry as I was I should probably stop. Too late though, he was already at the door.
Now we've lived next door to this house for a bit over two years. We've seen a lot of people come and go from that house and had come to the conclusion that more than one family (I use the word loosely) lived there. The guy that came to the door in nothing but his boxers, saggy gut and curly white was not someone who I had seen before. Nope. Caught completely by surprise at his nakedness and lack of familiarity, my anger diminished and I managed to say "Would you PLEASE keep your dog quiet." Wow. What amazing restraint! When I walked over there I was planning on damaging something and yet when the time came all I could manage was a Please! Puh-Leese!
Anyway, the naked guys says "Who are you?" and I respond, "I'm the neighbor who hasn't had a good night's sleep in two weeks because of your dog's barking howling and whining." He says "I'll see what I can do."
Yay! Finally! At last someone is going to silence that dog! I was almost giddy. Not so giddy that I couldn't think straight though. As I walked away from his house I realized that since I had never seen that guy before, chances are he wouldn't know which neighbor I was. So instead of walking straight back to my house I headed off in the opposite direction and walked around the block. Not bad for someone who is suffering from sleep deprivation, eh!
As I got back to the house my wife was just coming out the door with cell phone in hand. She had heard me banging on the door (cool!) and then had panicked at how long I was gone when I didn't come back right away. I reassured her that I was fine but after that we were both too wired to be able to go back to bed. Bummer cause the dog had stopped its yelping for the day.
As far as Canada Days go, it was a good one. I bummed around and caught up on some work, TV and XBox while my wife cleared a truckload of weeds from the back yard. After a trip to the grocery store and some BBQing we settled down for the evening in front of the TV to flip between a program on the Snowbirds and Canada Day celebrations across the country. It was all good.
Despite the next day being a Saturday, I knew that it would be foolish to stay up late when I was already so tired so at 10:30 we got all the fans set up, checked all the windows, did the bathroom routine and went to bed. And it was quiet.
Until 2:30AM.
Right on cue the dog started yelping, whining and howling again. I figured that if I was going to be awake and the dog was going to be awake, the neighbors shouldn't miss out on the fun. So I got up, got dressed and got ready to head over to their house. My wife, realizing the foolishness of such actions in the middle of the night, suggested that it would be safer if we called the police instead. Not wanting to argue with her I figured it was worth a shot. I knew they wouldn't come on a night when they would be quelling out of control Canada Day celebrations. After all, we weren't witnessing a drug deal, a gang fight, or an accident (maybe I could make it look like an accident...). It wasn't anything really serious. I called anyway.
After one ring the automated system picked up and asked me to press 1 if it was an emergency. While I debated about whether this was an emergency the voice then suggested that I press 2 if it was not an emergency. By this time I had decided it wasn't an emergency yet, so I pressed 2. About 2 seconds later I was talking to a real live person who was also awake in the middle of the night! Kudos to the RCMP! She asked what city and then proceeded to log my complaint. I told her that I knew the officers had more important things to deal with but if they had time for this I really would appreciate their help. She said that a car would be dispatched but that because of the Canada Day events they might not get there. Then she said the most wonderful words I had heard in a long time: "Sir, if they don't get there tonight, please call back again tomorrow night." Can you believe that! She called me Sir!
After I asked her if it was appropriate for me to bother them with such a trivial issue she reassured me and said that it was up to the officer who responded on whether or not anything could be done but that I was right to call. So for the first time in two weeks I began to feel a glimmer of hope that I would be able to sleep again. After profusely offering my thanks I hung up. I knew an officer wouldn't come that night but at least I had the option to call again the next night if the dog decided that I still didn't deserve to sleep. I walked around the house checking all the windows again and took a few moments to stare at the four-legged deamon next door.
Out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of headlights turning the corner on our street. It was a police cruiser. A glorious white car with a beautiful set of red and blue lights on top. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I watched an officer step out of the car and approach my front door. I quickly went and turned on the outside light. I was so excited that I couldn't wait for him to get all the way to the door! Out I flew, running down the steps and stopping in front of him on the sidewalk.
He asked me a number of questions and then said that he was new in the city and would have to check on what action he was able to take. My heart sank a little but having read the noise bylaw thoroughly I knew that the law was on my side. As the officer left my house he promised that he would call and let me know the outcome. An hour later he did and we haven't heard the dog since. It's chain hangs limply in the yard but the dog is nowhere to be seen.
Once again the evening is approaching and I can't help but think about how soon I will be crawling into bed. I can already feel the sheet laying lightly across my body, the sound of the fans moving air gently through the house. The neighborhood peaceful and at rest. Tonight I will have a good sleep.
Monday, June 27, 2005
Ravings of a Lunatic on Homeschooling.
I just got back from my youngest sister's graduation. I'd have to say that the 18 hour drive there and back was far more interesting than the ceremony itself. Well, other than the 4.7 minutes my family took to share how proud they were of her and let her know that she had good things to look forward to. But honestly! Five minutes out of three hours. Lets see... that's a ratio of 1:36 which I do beleive is worse than watching baseball!
NOTE: Daryl also blogged about Katie's grad over here and this entry is largely sympathetic to his so you may want to read his first.
Albeit a bit grudingly, I have to admit that I agree with some of his points about home schooling and the resulting mediocrity. I used to have a lot of respect for parents who are willing to buck the system and put the time into their kids but that's pretty much gone now. After watching that grad ceremony I began to wonder how they could think that they could possibly be a math teacher, a science teacher, a physics teacher, an english teacher, a social studies teacher, a music teacher, a computer teacher, a biology teacher, a french teacher, a chemistry teacher, a phys-ed teacher, a *fillintheblank* teacher and still provide the breadth and depth required to educate a young adult. Did I mention typing teacher, art teacher, shop teacher, home-ec teacher, outdoor-ed teacher, economics teacher, sociology teacher, band teacher, etc.
I mean, really, all the teachers I know went to University for at least four years just to be qualified to teach! Most of the ones who are my friends today went longer than that and you know what? Unless they're elementary school teachers they only teach one or two subjects! Which subjects do they teach? How about the ones that they majored in while in University! Can you honestly tell me that a person can do a better job than the public education system simply because they are the parent of their child? You expect me to believe that they can actually pull it off with any amount of finesse and quality? Maybe at the elementary school level... possibly at the junior high level. But high school? Heck! Most of the students I was in school with had a hard enough time learning all the different subjects! How can a parent without any further education be able to teach all those subjects? If I said I couldn't do it, does that make me inferior?
Now some parents will say that the reason why they should home school is that the public system is too crowded and the teachers are too overworked to really provide their child with a proper education. They'll point out tons of flaws in the system and then when teachers go on strike, the home school parents will point to them and say "I told you so!"
But please, take a step back for a moment. How many teachers spent four years of university (and all that tuition) for the money they would make in the education system? None. Zero! Teaching doesn't pay that well and honestly, nobody is that naive. How many of them got into teaching for the chance to work with the youth, to help shape future generations, to spend their time where it really counts? Probably most of them (the old adage that "those who can't do, teach!" likely covers the rest), and yes they were that naive. But really, were their ideals so different than that of the home-school parent?
Let me ask the home school parents this: Since you're so willing to buck the system and work your ass off to give your kids a mediocre education, why be elitist and withdraw from the system when you could put that same effort into the system and make it better for all your kids? (You do have more than one right?) Why not rally all the other home school parents (all the same ones who helped you plan the three hour grad ceremony) and re-work the system? Why not go to the teachers and show that you value them, their idealism and their abilities and get them on board? Why not make a difference for everyone? After all, that's one of the values that you want to instill in your child isn't it? That they can make a difference?
Another question for you? Where do home schoolers get exposed to the synergy found in the public system. I'm talking about the ideological conflict that occurs when people of differing backgrounds, different upbringings and contrasting opionions get together for a group project and hash out who's doing what. How will the heated discussions about politics and religions and interpretations of literture and history happen? Sure, children disagree with their parents all the time but what about the opportunity to disagree with their classmates? What about learning how to function in the real world (and I'm not talking social skills here). How is a home schooled child going to learn to work as a team? Do you really think that you can have them be the only student in their "class" and still come out knowing what its like to be part of something bigger than themselves? Like a soccer team, a band, a huge fundraiser?
Can a parent really pass those things onto their child when its clear that by homeschooling they don't value them? And if homeschooling is so great, why is then that they have to get together with other homeschoolers to provide that "well rounded" education that they prize so highly? How is that any different than putting kids in school? Heck, out here the home schoolers even use the schools' gymnasium's, library and other facilities. Don't get me wrong, I think thats a Good Thing but isn't it also an admission that home schooling can't cover all the bases? And do my taxes go to cover that home schooled child's use of the public facilities? (The answer is yes, they do.)
Okay, enough is enough. If I really wanted to make this blog entry worth the time I spent on it then I probably should have argued against Daryl's opinion instead of penning this lame excuse. I do disagree with him on one point though. The grad band. Yes, they were horrible. Yes they butchered some wonderful songs, especially the Fisherman song and Trading my Sorrows, but honestly, at least they tried. I'm pretty sure they knew how bad they were and yet they got up in front of all those people anway. That's courage. And if I said I've never butchered a song in front of a huge room of people, I'd be lying. In fact, even after I'd been playing bass for about six years I blew an entire concert with a lapse in judgement. I had purchased a six string bass about a month earlier and decided to use if for a concert before I had fully adjusted to it. Trust me, I won't make the same mistake again but I'm a better musician now for having made it. Those kids are too.
The real blame is on the parents for making a bad decision on behalf of their children. By taking them out of a flawed but functional system they've taught their children how to withdraw and avoid instead of setting a real world example and showing their kids how to adapt and survive in the real world.
NOTE: Daryl also blogged about Katie's grad over here and this entry is largely sympathetic to his so you may want to read his first.
Albeit a bit grudingly, I have to admit that I agree with some of his points about home schooling and the resulting mediocrity. I used to have a lot of respect for parents who are willing to buck the system and put the time into their kids but that's pretty much gone now. After watching that grad ceremony I began to wonder how they could think that they could possibly be a math teacher, a science teacher, a physics teacher, an english teacher, a social studies teacher, a music teacher, a computer teacher, a biology teacher, a french teacher, a chemistry teacher, a phys-ed teacher, a *fillintheblank*
I mean, really, all the teachers I know went to University for at least four years just to be qualified to teach! Most of the ones who are my friends today went longer than that and you know what? Unless they're elementary school teachers they only teach one or two subjects! Which subjects do they teach? How about the ones that they majored in while in University! Can you honestly tell me that a person can do a better job than the public education system simply because they are the
Now some parents will say that the reason why they should home school is that the public system is too crowded and the teachers are too overworked to really provide their child with a proper education. They'll point out tons of flaws in the system and then when teachers go on strike, the home school parents will point to them and say "I told you so!"
But please, take a step back for a moment. How many teachers spent four years of university (and all that tuition) for the money they would make in the education system? None. Zero! Teaching doesn't pay that well and honestly, nobody is that naive. How many of them got into teaching for the chance to work with the youth, to help shape future generations, to spend their time where it really counts? Probably most of them (the old adage that "those who can't do, teach!" likely covers the rest), and yes they were that naive. But really, were their ideals so different than that of the home-school parent?
Let me ask the home school parents this: Since you're so willing to buck the system and work your ass off to give your kids a mediocre education, why be elitist and withdraw from the system when you could put that same effort into the system and make it better for all your kids? (You do have more than one right?) Why not rally all the other home school parents (all the same ones who helped you plan the three hour grad ceremony) and re-work the system? Why not go to the teachers and show that you value them, their idealism and their abilities and get them on board? Why not make a difference for everyone? After all, that's one of the values that you want to instill in your child isn't it? That they can make a difference?
Can a parent really pass those things onto their child when its clear that by homeschooling they don't value them? And if homeschooling is so great, why is then that they have to get together with other homeschoolers to provide that "well rounded" education that they prize so highly? How is that any different than putting kids in school? Heck, out here the home schoolers even use the schools' gymnasium's, library and other facilities. Don't get me wrong, I think thats a Good Thing but isn't it also an admission that home schooling can't cover all the bases? And do my taxes go to cover that home schooled child's use of the public facilities? (The answer is yes, they do.)
Okay, enough is enough. If I really wanted to make this blog entry worth the time I spent on it then I probably should have argued against Daryl's opinion instead of penning this lame excuse. I do disagree with him on one point though. The grad band. Yes, they were horrible. Yes they butchered some wonderful songs, especially the Fisherman song and Trading my Sorrows, but honestly, at least they tried. I'm pretty sure they knew how bad they were and yet they got up in front of all those people anway. That's courage. And if I said I've never butchered a song in front of a huge room of people, I'd be lying. In fact, even after I'd been playing bass for about six years I blew an entire concert with a lapse in judgement. I had purchased a six string bass about a month earlier and decided to use if for a concert before I had fully adjusted to it. Trust me, I won't make the same mistake again but I'm a better musician now for having made it. Those kids are too.
The real blame is on the parents for making a bad decision on behalf of their children. By taking them out of a flawed but functional system they've taught their children how to withdraw and avoid instead of setting a real world example and showing their kids how to adapt and survive in the real world.
Friday, May 27, 2005
I Broke Down and Did It
For years I've been complaining about banner ads, popups, popunders, spam, etc. I hate it! I hate all of it. But I broke down today. Yep... I gave in. I clicked. Worse yet, I didn't just click, I bought.
Let me explain...
Earlier a friend was in my office and we were talking about money and debt and I went on quite a tirade about all the things I've bought thinking I'd have the money in a day or so, only to never seen the money and end up with interest charges on my credit card while trying to figure out how to pay it off. Of course, if this had only happened once you might understand how it could happen and maybe even admit to a similar experience yourself. This hasn't happened to me just once... no, more like five times. Well, maybe six if you count that other thing. Now you probably think I'm just stupid and you would be right.
Anyway, in the course of the conversation I raved on about how my boss has a 512Mb USB key fob (something that I have absolutely no use for but desparately want), a friend has a wireless network (something that I think is totally cool and have been drooling over for years) and yet another friend has an iPod mini with the iTrip attachment to listen to it over any FM radio (again something I have been jonesing for like you wouldn't believe).
While doing my usual time wasting multi-window surfing in my tabbed browser I came across a banner advertisment for a free iPod. Free. Really. Of course it couldn't possibly be true could it? Well... I guess clicking the link won't hurt me... I'll just open it in another window and if its crap I can keep surfing all the other crap I usually waste time on. If its a legit offer... well... I've been wanting an iPod since the day they were announced.
Two minutes late I was typing in my VISA number. Hold it! The iPod was supposed to be free, right? What's the credit card for? Well, in order to qualify for the 'free' iPod I had to sign up for one of their 'offers'. Hmm... that can't be so bad... Look, five DVDs for 49 cents each! Wow! This is way too good to be true! A free iPod and cheap DVDs! So I signed up for it. The whole time I'm thinking that I'm gonna get screwed. This is gonna cost me WAY more than what they're telling me. Of course now that I've clicked submit they've got me don't they. And not just me... They've got my email address (a real one. Not my null@null.com), my street address and (sigh!) my phone number!
Then they hit me with the catch.
I shoulda known better. In order for me to get my free iPod I have to refer my friends to them. Worse yet... I think at least one friend has to sign up for me to get credit for the referral. Crap!
Well, I'd already given my VISA number... what would it hurt to give up a few friends. After all, some of them already have iPods! So I refferred all my friends, all my family and every single email address I could scrape off the internet!
I'm kidding about that last bit. I was feeling too guilty about the friends and family so I didn't scrape the net. Bottom line: This bloody well better work or they're gonna submit my email address to every form on the net! Hmph... They'll probably do that anyway.
So, in case you want to join me in my fallen state, here's the URL for the free iPods:
www.freeipods.com
Let me explain...
Earlier a friend was in my office and we were talking about money and debt and I went on quite a tirade about all the things I've bought thinking I'd have the money in a day or so, only to never seen the money and end up with interest charges on my credit card while trying to figure out how to pay it off. Of course, if this had only happened once you might understand how it could happen and maybe even admit to a similar experience yourself. This hasn't happened to me just once... no, more like five times. Well, maybe six if you count that other thing. Now you probably think I'm just stupid and you would be right.
Anyway, in the course of the conversation I raved on about how my boss has a 512Mb USB key fob (something that I have absolutely no use for but desparately want), a friend has a wireless network (something that I think is totally cool and have been drooling over for years) and yet another friend has an iPod mini with the iTrip attachment to listen to it over any FM radio (again something I have been jonesing for like you wouldn't believe).
While doing my usual time wasting multi-window surfing in my tabbed browser I came across a banner advertisment for a free iPod. Free. Really. Of course it couldn't possibly be true could it? Well... I guess clicking the link won't hurt me... I'll just open it in another window and if its crap I can keep surfing all the other crap I usually waste time on. If its a legit offer... well... I've been wanting an iPod since the day they were announced.
Two minutes late I was typing in my VISA number. Hold it! The iPod was supposed to be free, right? What's the credit card for? Well, in order to qualify for the 'free' iPod I had to sign up for one of their 'offers'. Hmm... that can't be so bad... Look, five DVDs for 49 cents each! Wow! This is way too good to be true! A free iPod and cheap DVDs! So I signed up for it. The whole time I'm thinking that I'm gonna get screwed. This is gonna cost me WAY more than what they're telling me. Of course now that I've clicked submit they've got me don't they. And not just me... They've got my email address (a real one. Not my null@null.com), my street address and (sigh!) my phone number!
Then they hit me with the catch.
I shoulda known better. In order for me to get my free iPod I have to refer my friends to them. Worse yet... I think at least one friend has to sign up for me to get credit for the referral. Crap!
Well, I'd already given my VISA number... what would it hurt to give up a few friends. After all, some of them already have iPods! So I refferred all my friends, all my family and every single email address I could scrape off the internet!
I'm kidding about that last bit. I was feeling too guilty about the friends and family so I didn't scrape the net. Bottom line: This bloody well better work or they're gonna submit my email address to every form on the net! Hmph... They'll probably do that anyway.
So, in case you want to join me in my fallen state, here's the URL for the free iPods:
www.freeipods.com
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