Are There Rules or Not?

Daryl talks about being an "uneducated" music pastor and why he is frustrated with the fruits of Christian Post-Secondary institutions. To give my post a context, you might want to read his post first.

While I have experienced God's grace and forgiveness I have to admit that I haven't fully embraced it. I attend a middle class church that looks down on people and I often end up guilty of doing the same thing.

A recent example of this is with the band that I play in. We had our acoustic guitar player and his wife leave the band early this sping. He is a music pastor and is going through his ordination and his wife just delivered their first child. On top of that they live 45 minutes away from where we pratice so coming into town every week (plus gigs) are four hour commitment every time. They realized that at this point in their life it was too much and wisely decided that for the time being they needed focus on their family and the ordination. It was a hard decision for them but as much as we miss them, we respect and agree with their choice.

As a result though, the band has been forced to make a choice as well. We either find replacements or write new arrangements of our songs, sans vocalists. Considering the hundreds of hours we collectively invested into the current song list it seemed easier to find replacements. Well, it hasn't been easy. In fact, we have had a hard time even coming up with people to approach. Those that we have approached are too busy and not able to commit the time required or are pursuing different musical paths (eg: professional recording artist).

Then one day, clear out of the blue, an acoustic guitarist I had jammed with a couple times mentioned that he was having a hard time getting on a worship team at his church. I don't know why I hadn't thought of asking hime before but I figured he'd be a good addition to our band. I knew he could play our music in his sleep and he has a knack for making everyone else around him sound better than they are. In my mind, he is the best type of musician: one who is supremely skilled and uses those skills to help everyone play better. Of course, he'd be even better if he could read music, but that's a rant for another day.

Anyway, I spoke to the band about him and described him pretty much as I have here. They were definately interested and gave me the go-ahead to ask him if he'd like to come out to a couple of practices. He did and it was great. Everyone liked him and felt good about the fit both musically and personality wise. (From here on I'll refer to him as "the new guy".)

Then I remembered something... The reason I know "the new guy" is because his girlfriend works at my company. They live together. They're not married. He's a Christian. She's not a Christian. If that's not enough, they drink and they smoke and they... *gulp* ...Dance.

Well, in my church, that's a bad thing. A couple of years back, another couple was not allowed to particpate in the music ministry because they weren't married, were living together and had a son together. He played in a secular band in bars around the province. Between that, the not married and some other "issues" they eventually left the church. At the time I was pretty upset. They needed a church more than ever at that point and we chased them out. (I use the word we because it is my church. I'm a member.)

So anyway, remembering the previous couple, I spoke to the leader of our band about "the new guy". At first he was okay with it and said that sin is sin and we're all guilty of something. There's no grey. The two of us decided that it wasn't something we needed to bring up with the rest of the band. A couple weeks later though we spoke about it again. It was weighing on his mind and he wasn't sure what to do about it. We kinda left it at "maybe God wants him in the band and will use it to convict him."

Since then its been weighing on my mind a lot and now I'm not so sure what the right choice is. Sometimes I think I should talk to "the new guy" and confront him about his lifestyle. After all, he's a Christian and should know better. Then I think about his girlfriend, my co-worker, and wonder what she'll think of me and the "church" if I do that. Does she not need to be gently led into the fold before we beat her over the head with our theology? Then I think no, its my church that needs to change. And as the pendulum inside my brain bangs on my ears I realize that I don't know what to think.

I've got friends who take the black and white view. Any one of them would be the first to admit that they're not perfect but will maintain that there are some things that are just not acceptable for a Christian to do. Things like sleeping with someone you're not married to. I've got other friends who "rely" on God's grace and forgiveness to let them live the lifestyle they want. And of course I know some fence riders. They show up at church every Sunday but don't seem to be aligned with the left or the right. (This is the category I'd place myself into.)

Then there's Daryl. Daryl has a view of God and God's grace that's truly different. Somehow he's managed to let God accept him as he is, flaws, faults and vices. When I talk with him, I start to understand his view. It brings hope and freedom and I think its too good to be true. As we talk he persuades me that it is true and I feel excited and peaceful at the same time. Then he leaves, or I leave and within a few minutes the understanding fades and I fall back to where I am now.

Of all the ways to look at things, I like Daryl's the best. Its also the way that I understand the least and am the most unable to defend. And that's the problem. I'm a largely rational person who likes rational explanations for everything. (I say largely because the only proof I have for believing in God is my own existance, but given that to stand on, the rest is relatively easy.) For some reason though I haven't been able to fully comprehend his view to be able to incorporate it into my own. I can't rationalize it and therefore I can't live it.

Daryl blogged about not having any education past high school but has been clearly led and prepared by God for the role he fills now. Well, other than a failed attempt at electronics engineering degree, I don't have any formal education since high school either and I too can see how God clearly prepared me for the role I'm in. The difference is, Daryl seems to understand what he's called to do while I don't have a clue.

Where does that leave me? Sitting on the fence wondering what to do about "the new guy". Heck... Forget about the new guy! What about me? Am I forgiven or not? What does that mean? Are there rules or not?

Now I don't want to come across as just another poor lost soul on the Internet. I'm not. I'm saved by grace through faith and I know where I'll be spending eternity. Its just the time between now and then that I'm having a hard time with. And I sure can't hold anyone else to a standard while I'm figuring it out.

"While I am in the world, I am the light of the world." - John 9:5.