Man's Best Friend

Normally its a nice dog. Very friendly and very playful. It seemed to live outside, rain or shine and we could frequently see it playing, digging and generally doing what dogs do. Its not our dog. It belongs to our neighbors (and I use that term loosely) to the North. We didn't mind it too much. In fact, from time to time we felt bad for it. It was generally alone and never got outside of the fence. Not even for walks on a leash.

So, about two weeks ago our neighbors decided to chain the dog up outside permanently. They put a pole about 25 feet from their back fence and then strung a cable from the pole to the fence. On the cable they clipped a chain and to the chain, the dog. I don't know why they did this. The yard is completely fenced and from what we can tell the dog had never gotten out.

For those of you who have visted us, you know how hot it gets in the summer time and while this summer has been a lot wetter and cooler, it still stays pretty warm overnight. Our usual habit is to put fans at each end of the house, one sucking air in, one blowing air out. In addition we leave all the windows open and sleep on top of the covers. It works but its not great. I sleep, but its fitfull and restless. Little did I know that in two weeks time I would be longing for fitfull and restless sleep.

At around 8:30 PM, the first night the dog was chained outside, everything changed. First the dog started yelping. You know the sound. That high pitched cry of pain like when you accidentally step on a tail and whatever the tail is attached to yelps. Every few minutes we'd hear a yelp. We had all the fans on as well as the TV so it was pretty easy to ignore so other than an occasional glance out the window we kept about our business. When we went to bed the dog was quiet again and we quickly fell asleep. That's when the howling started.

I've heard howling before. I used to live in rural Alberta where, if you were quiet at night, you could hear coyotes off in the distance. As a teenager I had read The Call of the Wild by Jack London and watched Kevin Costner's movie Dances with Wolves. Suffice it to say that I had a fairly romantic view of howling. Until that night.

First the yelps started again and gradually got louder. That was enough to wake me. Then the howling started. Not the romantic hollywood howling. No, this was a bone chilling, mournful howl the likes of which I had never heard before. I lay there and listened to it and the only thing I could figure was that maybe the dog was hurt. I got out of bed, went to the window and looked. The dog wasn't hurt.

Since I was awake I went to the bathroom, got a drink and wandered around the house. (I've noticed that this tends to happen more frequently the older I get.) When I completed my circuit the howling had stopped and I went back to bed. I feel asleep. The yelping started again and woke me up again. Then howling started. Again. This time when I got up and looked out the window I thought about going over to the neighbors. I wasn't feeling very neighborly though so I just closed the window and went back to bed.

It took a little longer to fall back asleep but eventually I did. About 2:00AM I woke up again soaked with sweat. With the window closed the room had heated up to about 27 degrees (that's 80 for my Anonymous readers from USA) and we were cooking. I opened the window, listened to the dog howling and then went and took a sleeping pill. The rest of the night passed ever so slowly and when morning came, I was in the most foul mood of my life. Or so I thought.

As I alluded to earlier, that was two weeks ago. Every night since then has been the same. We go to bed and fall asleep. The dog decides we shouldn't be sleeping and begins to howl. My thoughts of going over to visit the neighbors take on a violent tone and all hope of getting any sleep vanishes.

Now everyone knows that certain stages of sleep are needed for the regeneration of neurons within the cerebral cortex while other stages of sleep seem to be used for forming new memories and generating new synaptic connections. When you don't get enough sleep on a regular basis you will start to feel tiredness (duh!), irritability, and edginess. As sleeplessness continues you will be unable to tolerate stress and will notice problems with concentration and memory. Eventually you will experience behavioral, learning or social problems, frequent infections, blurred vision, vague discomfort, alterations in appetite and activity intolerance.

Well, after two weeks of sleepless nights I was feeling all of that and then some. So on July 1st at 5:30 in the morning while laying awake listening to the dog yelp I decided that enough was enough. I got dressed and stormed over to the neighbors house. I didn't know what I was going to say but I was going to say something. As I walked up to the door I noticed that it was very old and I could see through spaces around the edges. I banged on the door as hard as I could in the hopes that it would splinter into thousands of pieces and I could just barge right in. Alas, it was not to be. The door held firm but I was rewarded with huge booming thumps that resontated through the cool morning air. After many hard and particularly loud knocks I realized that if I didn't want the neighbor as upset and angry as I was I should probably stop. Too late though, he was already at the door.

Now we've lived next door to this house for a bit over two years. We've seen a lot of people come and go from that house and had come to the conclusion that more than one family (I use the word loosely) lived there. The guy that came to the door in nothing but his boxers, saggy gut and curly white was not someone who I had seen before. Nope. Caught completely by surprise at his nakedness and lack of familiarity, my anger diminished and I managed to say "Would you PLEASE keep your dog quiet." Wow. What amazing restraint! When I walked over there I was planning on damaging something and yet when the time came all I could manage was a Please! Puh-Leese!

Anyway, the naked guys says "Who are you?" and I respond, "I'm the neighbor who hasn't had a good night's sleep in two weeks because of your dog's barking howling and whining." He says "I'll see what I can do."

Yay! Finally! At last someone is going to silence that dog! I was almost giddy. Not so giddy that I couldn't think straight though. As I walked away from his house I realized that since I had never seen that guy before, chances are he wouldn't know which neighbor I was. So instead of walking straight back to my house I headed off in the opposite direction and walked around the block. Not bad for someone who is suffering from sleep deprivation, eh!

As I got back to the house my wife was just coming out the door with cell phone in hand. She had heard me banging on the door (cool!) and then had panicked at how long I was gone when I didn't come back right away. I reassured her that I was fine but after that we were both too wired to be able to go back to bed. Bummer cause the dog had stopped its yelping for the day.

As far as Canada Days go, it was a good one. I bummed around and caught up on some work, TV and XBox while my wife cleared a truckload of weeds from the back yard. After a trip to the grocery store and some BBQing we settled down for the evening in front of the TV to flip between a program on the Snowbirds and Canada Day celebrations across the country. It was all good.

Despite the next day being a Saturday, I knew that it would be foolish to stay up late when I was already so tired so at 10:30 we got all the fans set up, checked all the windows, did the bathroom routine and went to bed. And it was quiet.

Until 2:30AM.

Right on cue the dog started yelping, whining and howling again. I figured that if I was going to be awake and the dog was going to be awake, the neighbors shouldn't miss out on the fun. So I got up, got dressed and got ready to head over to their house. My wife, realizing the foolishness of such actions in the middle of the night, suggested that it would be safer if we called the police instead. Not wanting to argue with her I figured it was worth a shot. I knew they wouldn't come on a night when they would be quelling out of control Canada Day celebrations. After all, we weren't witnessing a drug deal, a gang fight, or an accident (maybe I could make it look like an accident...). It wasn't anything really serious. I called anyway.

After one ring the automated system picked up and asked me to press 1 if it was an emergency. While I debated about whether this was an emergency the voice then suggested that I press 2 if it was not an emergency. By this time I had decided it wasn't an emergency yet, so I pressed 2. About 2 seconds later I was talking to a real live person who was also awake in the middle of the night! Kudos to the RCMP! She asked what city and then proceeded to log my complaint. I told her that I knew the officers had more important things to deal with but if they had time for this I really would appreciate their help. She said that a car would be dispatched but that because of the Canada Day events they might not get there. Then she said the most wonderful words I had heard in a long time: "Sir, if they don't get there tonight, please call back again tomorrow night." Can you believe that! She called me Sir!

After I asked her if it was appropriate for me to bother them with such a trivial issue she reassured me and said that it was up to the officer who responded on whether or not anything could be done but that I was right to call. So for the first time in two weeks I began to feel a glimmer of hope that I would be able to sleep again. After profusely offering my thanks I hung up. I knew an officer wouldn't come that night but at least I had the option to call again the next night if the dog decided that I still didn't deserve to sleep. I walked around the house checking all the windows again and took a few moments to stare at the four-legged deamon next door.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of headlights turning the corner on our street. It was a police cruiser. A glorious white car with a beautiful set of red and blue lights on top. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I watched an officer step out of the car and approach my front door. I quickly went and turned on the outside light. I was so excited that I couldn't wait for him to get all the way to the door! Out I flew, running down the steps and stopping in front of him on the sidewalk.

He asked me a number of questions and then said that he was new in the city and would have to check on what action he was able to take. My heart sank a little but having read the noise bylaw thoroughly I knew that the law was on my side. As the officer left my house he promised that he would call and let me know the outcome. An hour later he did and we haven't heard the dog since. It's chain hangs limply in the yard but the dog is nowhere to be seen.

Once again the evening is approaching and I can't help but think about how soon I will be crawling into bed. I can already feel the sheet laying lightly across my body, the sound of the fans moving air gently through the house. The neighborhood peaceful and at rest. Tonight I will have a good sleep.