The Joys of Home Ownership

As is my usual custom, I take a break from sleeping around 4:00 AM every morning. Sometimes its to adjust all the windows and fans, sometimes to yell a the dog next door and sometimes to find my pillow across the room (I really don't know how it gets over there). Last night it was to pee.

When I got to the bathroom I figured that my wife must have been there just before me as the toilet sounded like it had been recently flushed and was still filling. As I sat (I always sit at home, like a good husband should) and did my thing, I gradually realized that the water was still running in the toilet. It should have shut off by now right? Well, since I know time gets skewed while I'm sleepy, I flushed and waited to see how long it would run. Well, it ran and ran and ran. Crap. If it wasn't shutting off then it likely had been trying to overflow the septic tank since we went to bed.

So, off comes the top of the tank and I have a look. Sure enough, the float needs to be adjusted. No problem, I've done that before. Of course, its never just come off in my hands before. Crap. As I stand there stupidly looking at this gross corroded metal and plastic piece of debris I realized that to deal with this I was going to have to wake all the way up. Crap.

I gradually stop squinting and take a closer look at the float. It snapped off about a quarter of an inch from where it fastens to the thingamajig. So, now that I'm fully awake I realize that I'm not going to be able to fix this tonight. Crap. Woke up for nothing. I drop the float into the tub, turn off the water supply to the toilet and head back to bed.

Now, I know people who plan for every contingency but I'll bet they don't plan on their toilet breaking. What are they gonna do? Are they they gonna keep a spare toilet in the downstairs closet just in case? I don't think so.

No, if their like me, they keep their spare toilet in the ensuite. You, know the one that we started renovating before we moved in and haven't finished in two and a half years of occupancy. The toilet hasn't sat on the whole in the floor since before we moved in so tonight, while I was still awake, we robbed the top half of the thingamajig from the green toilet in the ensuite and put it on the harvest gold toilet in the main bathroom. Problem solved. Well, at least until we finish the ensuite and need a functioning toilet in there.